Deafening Silence
by blueandhazeleyes
Summary: Inside a brown box was a collection of memories. Blaine had collected them in fragments of sentences, in scents, silent screams, and in painful emotions. For 10 years, it was left alone to dust in a huge mansion in Westerville until it was given to Kurt Hummel-Quenell, his first love and the one whom he meant to have it in the first place. Futurefic
1. Prologue

**Currently on a break so I wrote this down. The story has a basic plot and you might find it a bit cliché since the whole Klaine fandom has written thousands of fiction already. What I can promise you though is that the story has a lot to offer. I am determined that it will be quite different from the others. I hope so. I like the element of surprise so please don't get upset if something came up. I'll warn you if I think it's appropriate but if not, I just want to say that if you don't like that idea then please do not continue reading. I can only assure you that this fic is angsty and full of drama and romance. This is rated M because I believe that there'll be some adult-action later in the story. Thank you for reading.**

**I own nothing but the plot and the original characters. **

**Oh by the way, thank you to my lovely and friendly beta-reader, LindsaylovesPacey. I had to re-upload everything so you guys could read this without any grammatical distraction. Thank you everyone.**

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><p>Prologue<p>

The sun is almost at the horizon but as it bids goodbye; it leaves a beautiful purple color to the once blue sky. The wind is chilly and the orange leaves that were slowly falling from the old weary trees of St. Mitchell Street are moving with it. It was a beautiful autumn night and it had been a perfect day to celebrate. Around the corner, stands a beautiful hotel called Le Grande Palace. Known to have been built back in the 1800s, the old but ravishing hotel has beautiful scenery every fall. Though this day, a new kind of scenery can be seen at Le Grande.

The inside of the Palace was carefully decorated with white and purple satin textile with a mixture of exquisite Swarovski gems. There were tulips and Calla everywhere. The tables weren't covered with any fabrics, but their wooden forms show classiness in a room full of colors and lights. At the far end is a stage for the band that plays different renditions of pop songs.

Even if you are a mile away from the Palace, you are still able to hear the music and the cheers of the people celebrating; though it comes up as a whisper. There were 300 people present; most of them were friends and family. There were a few famous people in attendance, some from the music industry and some from Broadway. Drinks were overflowing and several guests had taken more than they could handle.

In the midst of the happy noises, one particular silence can be heard. It isn't so striking that everybody notices but this silence can only be felt once you know the story behind it. It's the kind where no one would understand or care when they're with happy companions. That sound of silence has a sad melody and if anyone tries to listen, eagerly; they'll hear not some sad lyrics, but a life story of what ifs and maybes.

A weary young man wearing a simple black suit tries his best to hide his silence but just can't. His whole body is screaming from it. With a forced smile, he excuses himself and leaves his table. He's quite lucky that it only took so few steps for him to reach the stairs to the second floor. He just wants to get out and breathe. There are a few familiar faces present at the party. However, he feels like a stranger with them even though he has bonded with them before. And so he walks out to get some air for he has never felt so alone in a crowded room.

He's not even sure why he was even at this party in the first place. He doesn't feel that he belongs there anymore. It could be self pity or maybe he was there to bid his goodbye. He thought he could make things right and everything would go back to normal, but it seems like it won't. Sometimes hardship comes to those who don't deserve it and no matter how small or big it is, rather than fighting it; the only way for him to move on is to let go – and by letting go, maybe, he'll be able to see life again.

A lot of people consider goodbyes as a wave of a hand or a hug or even saying the word with a hopeful smile. But for him, for Blaine; a silent look filled with remorse at his first love, is his form of goodbye. There are no words to describe his farewell. He just feels lost and scared seeing Kurt overflowing with genuine happiness. For that one moment, he realizes that he might have lost everything good in his precious life.

So he stands there silently watching Kurt walk gracefully. He isn't angry or jealous. He is just sad; sad to see a new life unfolding right in front of him. He feels as if he is reading a novel; he can see where the story is going and he can feel what the characters are experiencing. Yet, he can't do anything about it since he's just a reader and he's not part of the story. Well, not anymore.

Blaine tosses his sorrow aside and slowly turns his head away. He should be happy because now, at least, he's sure that Kurt is safe and blissful. Also, he can now move on. He knew that someday he'd have to let things go and be happy for a change; he must allow himself to be happy without Kurt. He will, in the end, find happiness. For four years, he had kept holding on to the past and hoping that someday Kurt would come back. Except for, sometimes life can be cruel and time can push people apart.

He was about to leave the balcony when he saw a girl he had been friends with since high school. One that had kept his secrets and pain to herself; sharing all the hardship he'd gone through. She comes up to him and gives him a warm hug. This hug wasn't romantic nor was it joyful. She is holding on to him as if he were fragile. She gently strokes his back with her hands, making him feel comforted and secure. For the last time, he lets himself feel vulnerable.

"Hang in there. You did well." Santana whispered in his ear.

He sadly chuckles as he rests his head on her shoulder. It was then Santana felt him crying. Silent tears that mean he'll get over it; he just needs to release the pain. So, she stands there with him lending him her strength; neither of them speaking. It is their silence that gives off pain and sorrow as joyful cheers are heard downstairs.

Quinn sees everything from the balcony across the way. She makes sure she is well hidden. She knows she is invading the privacy of her friend. She also feels the need to know why he came to this ceremony. While taking in the sight of Blaine and Santana's private moment; she finally understands the reason. Though, Quinn can't help wondering why Blaine has been holding on to Kurt for so long. After all, he was the one who broke Kurt's heart years ago.

She knows then there is more to the story. Something Blaine tried to fight for, but in the end was forced to keep it to himself. She takes one last look at the happy couple downstairs making their way to the car. They joyfully greet their friends and family. It's a beautiful depiction of a happy ending. While she observes them, she can't help wondering if they are really meant to be. Right before the couple enters the limousine, she thinks she sees her friend, Kurt Hummel, sadly gazing at the balcony across from where she is.


	2. Orlando Quinell

**Thank you to my lovely beta-reader, Ms. LindsaylovesPacey.**

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><p>"Hey there, beautiful."<p>

Kurt tries to hide his smile as he slowly opens his eyes to meet the pair of sharp green eyes looking at him lovingly. The sun is already peeking through the window, while tulips on their bedside table add a wonderful aroma to the master suite.

"Hey back, gorgeous." He replies lazily. "What time did you wake up?"

Orlando gives him a tender smile and wraps his arms around Kurt, "An hour ago."

"You mean… you were watching me?" Kurt blinks at him, an amused smile forming on his face. "You creepy, perverted, gorgeous, man."

"Hey, it's not like you're moaning or looking erotically seductive while you're sleeping. I just want to capture this moment." Orlando retorts as he stares fondly at Kurt, "And besides, that's what couples do in the morning."

Kurt rolls his eyes as he gets himself up from the bed. "Okay, enough cuddling. I have to get ready for rehearsals."

His husband walks over to him and gives him a warm hug. "Fine, I'll go fix our breakfast."

"I was expecting a breakfast in bed, you know. You wasted an hour watching me sleep." Kurt replies teasingly.

Orlando pats Kurt's back and playfully pushes Kurt away from him. "Then I shall wake up early again tomorrow so I can cook breakfast and watch you sleep."

After Orlando leaves the room, Kurt smiles to himself. He had never thought in a million years; he'd have everything he had ever wanted. He had never felt this satisfied in his life.

Kurt met Orlando at NYU while the lad was a guest in his theatre class. At first glance, he thought the man beautiful. He was four years older than Kurt, with striking blond hair, beautiful green eyes with a gorgeous build and features. Orlando was already well known in the industry, having written two musicals in his five years of Broadway experience. Kurt thought the man was straight, until Orlando invited him to dinner after class. He thought it would be more of a work-related dinner. But as it turned out, Orlando had thought him beautiful too.

It didn't take long for them to become a couple. It started out as harmless dinners, then becoming Broadway dates and escalating into the two making love in Orlando's apartment. Three months after they became an official couple, Kurt introduced him to Burt and Carole. His father wasn't sure at first because Orlando was very similar to Kurt's ex-boyfriend. Burt was pleasantly surprised when Orlando began showering him with football tickets, visits to Ohio and an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii for the family; trying to gain his acceptance. It took six months for Burt to finally accept Orlando; and he had given Orlando a smile while telling the man to take care of his son. Finn, on the other hand, adored Orlando instantly after meeting him. They became fast friends and even have buddy dates that annoyed Kurt and Rachel.

After graduating, Kurt started his audition hunting that Orlando promised not to interfere with. First he got some minor roles. Then an open audition was announced for the _Grease_ Broadway revival; Kurt quit his job and auditioned for the lead role of Danny Zuko. After he got the part, Orlando took him to a nice restaurant to celebrate. That was the beginning of his Broadway career.

Kurt remembers fighting with his lover after he found out that the director is a close friend of his. He apologized afterward when the director told him, in all honesty, that he hadn't met with Orlando after he came back to New York.

Orlando is always understanding. He never tries to fight with Kurt when he's having his emotional tantrums. Whenever Kurt feels that he's inferior compared to Orlando; his husband just sits there and listens to his complaints and angst. If there are any problems that come their way, Orlando always shares his concerns and worries. They find that being honest with one another is the key to strengthening their relationship. Though sometimes, Orlando reminds Kurt a lot of his ex-boyfriend. These realizations scare him. They are similar in the way they handled the situation, the way they treated Kurt, and how talented Orlando and Blaine were. The only difference between the two being that Orlando is always honest and has never tried anything to hurt Kurt. While, Blaine, well, had broken his heart.

Orlando was the reason why he had moved on from his monumental break up with Blaine. Orlando had saved him from his depression and had given him a new hope for himself. It wasn't just love that Orlando gave to Kurt; it was also selflessness and sacrifice.

"Hey, you're dressed already? I was hoping to catch you in the shower." Orlando pouts as he walks back into the bedroom.

"Oh, Dear Lord. Why did I end up with a pervert?" Kurt snorts, his eyebrows narrowing, "I have to do my morning routine now."

Orlando gives him a gentle laugh before heading to the bathroom.

While putting some moisturizer on his face, Kurt hears Orlando singing in the shower. He smiles and hums to the melody of the song. Not only can Orlando write music, he can actually sing perfectly. He has a unique voice, a bit rough but very exquisite.

When Orlando comes out of the bathroom, Kurt finishes applying light makeup to his face. He grins at his lover and quickly makes his way downstairs.

"Pancakes for breakfast." Orlando hurriedly says, peaking at the door while putting on a navy blue Hugo Boss polo.

"Yum," Kurt mumbles lazily, gazing back at Orlando before his head disappears from the stairs.

After a delicious breakfast and their daily life chat, Orlando offers to drive him to the theatre. Orlando has been writing a new show and he has asked Kurt to be his main star. Kurt still has a three month contract left with _Grease_; he happily agrees after the tour. Every day, Orlando visits him at the theatre and watches him rehearse for a while before bidding him goodbye and good luck. After the show, Orlando will be waiting for him at the backdoor or at a nearby coffee shop. That's always been their silly routine.

"Ready to go, love?" Orlando asks and watches Kurt pick up his shoulder bag.

"Yeah," Kurt says with a smile, but it quickly changes into a look of panic, "Wait, let me get my coat."

Kurt runs to the bedroom as quickly as he can. The moment he enters the room, he sees lavender flowers on the bed with a note. He curiously approaches the bed and silently reads the note.

_Silly, I know you're going to go back to get your coat. You're always forgetful like that. I also know that you'll be distracted if I put flowers on the bed, which I know you hate, but it really is the only way for you to read this letter. You must be really annoyed right now. Ha ha. So before I receive your famous bitch scolding, I'd like to say that I love waking up every morning and seeing your beautiful face. I apologize if you find it creepy that I said I adore watching you sleep, but I couldn't help it. I want to remember that moment like I want to remember all your silly moments. Like when you hum while I sing in the bathroom or when you lick your lips before you eat your pancakes, or even the scolding you gave me for not waking you up. And even when you playfully pretend you don't know me during rehearsals... well, playful is an understatement – these moments makes me feel like I'm seeing the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I can listen to you talk about the latest Vogue issue and never tire of it. Not because I'm interested in the latest fashion, but because it's you who's talking. It's your voice that I love listening to. It's your happy face I love to see. You might say that I'm a little bit obsessed with you. I guess I am. You are a big part of my life Kurt. With you, I know I am satisfied and happy and that is more than I could ask for. You showed me what it is to be a better man. And I want to thank you for everything. I want to be this happy and grateful for the rest of my life. I love you._

"I see you found my letter," whispers Orlando behind him.

Kurt turns around and sees him resting his head and shoulders on the door frame. Orlando's arms are folded and his legs are crossed. He has a lazy smile on his face as he looks at Kurt with eagerness.

"What are you trying to pull leaving a letter on our bed with a bunch of lavender flowers?" Kurt asks as he pretends to have a disapproving look.

The older man approaches him and puts his arms around Kurt's waist. "Marry me, Kurt. Marry me and make me the happiest man alive."

Kurt looks at him, stunned. He sees Orlando grabbing something from his pocket only to reveal a small red box. "Orlando…"

Orlando gazes at him, waiting. He opens the Cartier box revealing a platinum gold ring that has a nickel size diamond with an exquisite design.

"I don't know what to say…" Kurt mumbles, as he tries to fight back his tears.

"Say what you want to say. I don't mind if you're not ready. I will wait for you." Orlando says intensely, his kind eyes on Kurt's.

"Orlando, I've been waiting for this. I just didn't expect it." Kurt softly cries. He tightens his arms around Orlando and lays his head on his shoulder. "Yes. Yes! I will marry you!"


	3. The Castle

**Thank you for reading. What do you think about the story? BTW, A huge thank you to my beta-reader LindsaylovesPacey.**

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><p>It has been six years since the wedding, and Kurt is now a known Broadway actor and a father of two. He is still married to Orlando Quenell, the love of his life whom is a Broadway musical director and writer.<p>

Kurt worships Orlando. He once felt this kind of devotion before and that was ten years ago when he was still a teenager. Orlando is everything he wants to be. His husband is gorgeous - an all American blond, with piercing green eyes and an awesome build. He loves musicals and he definitely can write and sing (his two Tony awards are proof of that). He's also a very talented musician. Plus, he loves kids and is good to Kurt in every possible way and the words "in bed" are included in that.

A lot has changed these 6 years especially for Kurt. From being a striving actor, to getting a part from Grease as Danny Zuko, to landing Chicago's Roxie Hart character a year after; shocking the whole Broadway industry. He then starred in his own Tony-award winning show, _Secret Diaries of the Diva, _written by his famous Broadway writer and husband, Orlando Quenell. Kurt and Orlando became a super couple in the Broadway Industry and both became ambassadors for the No H8 campaign and Trevor Project.

A year after their marriage, the couple decided to hire a surrogate and she gave birth to twins; one boy and one girl whom they named Coco and Alfie. It was hard to raise the kids by themselves, especially because the two are busy with the show. Occasionally, Finn and Rachel come to visit as do Burt and Carole. Orlando's parents visit too every month. The couple hired a nanny to keep their twins fed and safe.

Their apartment in Manhattan proved to be a little troublesome while raising five years olds. So Orlando asked Kurt if they could buy a house in Ohio. That way, the kids can be closer to the Hummel's. Kurt was hesitant at first since Ohio is not really a gay-friendly state and it's far from New York. Since he needs his parents to help raise the children, he finally says yes. Kurt figures it'll be great to take a break from the industry to raise the kids in a country house.

So there they were, in Orlando's Alfa Romeo red 4C, driving on the streets of Ohio looking for a house. Their real estate agent asked them to meet her in the Westerville neighborhood which made Kurt uncomfortable because he knew that place. He had visited it a few times during his teenage years.

"Honey, have you forgotten that my parents live in Lima? Westerville is 2 hours away from them."

"Baby, I just want our own environment. As much as I love to be near Burt and Carole, I also want to be a bit far so we can have our privacy. Then we can practice parenting. Besides, Westerville has an amazing neighborhood that you'll love!"

Kurt took a deep breath and gave his husband a forced smile. _I wish._

Orlando stopped at the first house he came to, just past the entrance, where a middle-aged blond woman seemed to be waiting for them. When she realized who they were, she gave them a big smile and approachedthem immediately.

"Good Day, Mr. Hummel-Quennels. I'm Clarissa Brown. I believe that Orlando is looking for a big house here in Ohio, so I recommended this neighborhood. Most of the houses here are owned by wealthy families in the state. It's a wonderful environment if you want to start a family since the neighborhood is more tolerable to change; plus as celebrities, you can have all the privacy you want." Clarissa exclaimed with a big smile.

"Perfect!" Orlando happily replied.

The house hunting was long as Kurt and Orlando took their time checking every room in the houses that Clarissa showed them. She brought them to five big houses, three of them having modern architecture Kurt adored. He made sure to check the master bedroom and the bathrooms while Orlando checked the backyard and the garage. The houses are great. Kurt feels as though his husband is not quite satisfied.

"Let's go see the next one. What do you think, baby?" Orlando asks with a steady smile.

Kurt just nods his head. He understands that they don't really need to rush in looking for a house. Besides, they're not here just to look for beautiful architecture, or fabulous interior designs, they're here to look for a home where they will raise their kids and grow old.

After a fifteen minute drive from the Modern glass house, his eyes catch the sight of a big metal gate in front of a gigantic English castle. The walls around the house are covered by green vines and the bushes in front of the castle are still filled with beautiful wild flowers. The landscape is breath taking, and the castle looks like a fairy tale palace surrounded by Oak trees that shine with beautiful green color. Spring makes the whole place look like a dream. Kurt has to turn his head as he tries to avoid memories that are flashing in his mind's eye. There were more beautiful sights that Kurt had admired in this castle.

"Clarissa, how about that beautiful house? Is that for sale too?" Orlando's voice brings Kurt back to reality. He stares at his husband who is admiring the castle.

"Oh! I didn't see you as a lover of old European Castles. Well, the owners decided to sell it three months ago since no one really lives here anymore. The whole family has settled in Europe now. We can check it if you like, I believe the house keeper is still here doing some last minute business." She replied.

Kurt looks at Orlando and takes a deep breath. _Great._

They stop at the front of the castle. Clarissa leads them to the beautiful wooden door. Orlando puts his arms around Kurt's waist as they follow their real estate agent through the old house.

"This whole lot is fully gated. The castle has stone exterior with a slate roof. As you can see from the outside, it has a lovely landscape. I believe they hired a famous landscaper to make it look like an English garden." The real estate agent proudly states, gesturing her hands to the front yard of the mansion.

"The trees are beautiful." Orlando says while looking around.

"Yes, Oak trees were a personal favourite of the owners." Clarissa adds in agreement.

Kurt has to disagree though. He remembers that only one particular young man from the household had expressed his love for the trees. Kurt also remembers how this young man had fought to keep the trees after the landscaper had wanted to remove them.

"Okay, in we go." Clarissa says, as she waves her hand beckoning them to follow her inside.

They were welcomed by a big hall that housed a huge marble stairway covered by a maroon carpet. A round mahogany table was placed in the middle. Above the table, a massive chandelier sparkles.

"The house is architecturally designed to maximize natural lighting with high ceilings and huge doors that open to a loggia, a gourmet and outdoor kitchen, with two pools with waterfalls and a grotto. It has an attached guest house, a terrace, a wine cellar, three fireplaces, a library and second loggia to the lower pool. This castle is beautifully decorated with attention to every detail." Clarissa stated while reading the house description and amenities from her folder.

"Also, this house has eight rooms and eight bathrooms. Aside from that, it also has its own panic room, a big attic, a vault room and a storage room located in the basement. The castle is also protected by a security system." She added.

Orlando gave her a knowing smile and Kurt knew then that his husband is beyond satisfied. He had never expected to be back in this house. Not in a million years. Kurt had decided that after everything that had happened, this house would remain a memory.

"Holy shit." Orlando cursed as he looks outside beyond the big window. "Is that a lake?"

"Yes indeed. This is a waterfront lot that overlooks nearly mile deep water, and has a boat dock!" Clarissa said as she led Orlando to the backyard where the pool and the lake are located.

Kurt, however, did not follow them. This house had given him too many painful memories. He can't simply make himself comfortable and admire the architecture and its amenities. He remembers this house as being cold and empty. He silently climbs the grand stairs, his hand brushing its marbled handle. The castle was big enough for someone to get lost but Kurt knew every detail and every room of this house by heart. He found himself looking at a certain room with a mahogany door at the far left. He had always thought this room was far from the others but being able to visit this castle a couple of times before; he knew that it was there for a reason. The former owner of that room was a musician and the others did not like hearing his music. He walks toward the room and carefully opens the door. Inside, he sees the Anderson's old butler fixing an old box on the bed.

"Freddy! It's been so long." Kurt happily exclaimess, startling the old man.

"Master… Hummel, is it? Indeed, it has been long. It's a surprise to see you here." Freddy replies while fixing his glasses to get a good look. He gives Kurt a small smile and gentle bow before going back to his work.

"Oh, Clarissa, the real estate agent brought us here… to look at the place." Kurt replied awkwardly.

"Are you planning to buy the Mansion?" Freddy asks without looking at Kurt.

"I'm not sure." Kurt answers honestly.

"Well, some unpleasant history has happened here. But of course, you know that. Master Richard and Mistress Ellen decided to sell it because it holds horrid memories. It's a shame really, since this mansion is practically my home. My family grew up here." Freddy says quietly as he puts some old clothes in the box. Kurt shortly recognized the clothes as Dalton cardigans.

"I'm sorry to hear that but what do you mean unpleasant history? Did someone die here?" Kurt asks as he approaches the old man.

"Oh? Oh..." The old man turns to look at him with a stunned expression. After a silent moment of realization, he turns his head back and continues to fix some papers from Blaine's old drawer and put it all in the box. "I'm surprised you're not aware. It happened around ten years ago when Master Blaine was in a grave depression and he did a lot of things that horrified the whole household. But of course, he got well and decided to leave the country five years ago. I am very proud that he's now living his dreams."

Kurt looked at the old man with shock. "Depression? When was this?"

"When he left New York, to study at Yale." Freddy quietly said.

"Huh? I don't understand."

"Master Hummel." Freddy approached him slowly as he holds the brown box he had been stuffing with old things, "Would you like to keep this box? I believe that most of its contents are yours."

"Mine?"

"Here. Take it." The man gave him a sad smile and walked away. As he reaches the door, he gives Kurt a stern look. "I shall go and take some of the stuff to the basement. But please, feel free to tour around the house; you'll be surprised of how many things have changed since you last visited. Master John thought putting some safety measures around the house would help young master Blaine."

"Why? What happened to Blaine?" Kurt asks with concern.

"He tried to kill himself many times, Master Hummel. And there was one time that he almost did."


	4. The Andersons

**Thank you to my beta-reader **- LindsaylovesPacey. Thank you for reading also.****

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><p>Kurt had to drag himself out of Blaine's old room. He wanted to look at what was inside the box. But he doesn't think he has the heart to. A lot of painful memories keep rushing in his head and it's making him want to puke. He can feel his head spinning and his heart is pounding fiercely in his chest. Since when did Blaine try to kill himself? Why is he acting like he's the victim? Kurt hates that all his anger with Blaine is now coming back after all these years of trying to forget him and his dysfunctional family. He wanted to get away. Blaine had no right to kill himself and definitely had no right to make Kurt feel bad for thinking that his ex-boyfriend would even resort to that. Kurt was the one who was left broken and embarrassed. He was the laughing stock in his college for a year. He has the right to be depressed, not Blaine. No heartless, rich bastard has the right to depression and self harm.<p>

Kurt started to walk mindlessly. He couldn't think straight. Not with this new information lingering in his mind. He refused to believe that Blaine would do something like that. That was very selfish of Blaine. Truth be told, as much as he hated his ex-boyfriend right now; he hated himself more for feeling like this. He should be acting like he doesn't care and he doesn't understand why he feels like he was at fault. Why does he feel guilty when he's the victim?

It has been ten years since the incident and every once in a while he would remember it; and he would scream. He blames himself for falling and loving too hard. Blaine had left him a mess and he would not allow his first love to destroy him again.

Kurt found himself in the dining room. He sighed heavily as he leaned his head against the wooden door. It was in this room where he first met the family. He remembered dressing up for that occasion for he was very excited to finally meet the Andersons – one of the richest and famous families of America and Europe. He didn't know at first that Blaine was part of "the Andersons" until the boy invited him over to their house. He thought everything was going to be dreamy and easy for the both of them. Upon meeting the family, he was sure that the trouble was just about to start. And his first dinner with the family proved to be the trigger.

"So, what does your father do Kurt?"

"Father -" Blaine tried to retort but Richard Anderson held his hand up to shut him up.

"Let the boy speak. I would like to hear everything about his middle-class family." Richard said with a straight face. Before fixing his gaze on Kurt as he sipped from his glass of wine.

"My father owns a tire shop in Lima. It's a very decent business, sir. I mean, we don't earn a lot but it's enough for my father to provide me with food and things for school." Kurt nervously said as he tried to hide the hurt on his face.

"A son of a garage owner; how fascinating! By the way, is that Marc Jacobs, Kurt? Did Blaine buy you that?" Ellen asked crossing her arms loosely and slanting her eyebrows at him.

"No, ma'am. I bought it last year." he answered honestly, but bitterly.

"It must have been on sale. That design was from 2008." Ellen commented mindlessly, looking tiredly at Kurt then back at her food.

"Mother, that's rude," laughed Vivien, Blaine's younger sister, from the other side of the table. "But nice eyes, Mother. It really is a 2008 collection."

"What really disturbs me is his face. He looks really gay." Andrew pointed out, looking at Kurt with a confused, mocking look. "Are you sure Blaine, that he's not using you to get your money for an operation or something to transform himself into a transvestite?"

"Enough, Andrew!" Blaine almost yelled as he stares angrily at his older brother.

"Easy there, buddy. Andrew here is just pointing out that your boy toy looks like Lady Gaga." Vincent commented, looking at them wearily before gazing at Kurt. "So Kurt, any plans to go to Thailand? I heard that sex-change operation there is cheap."

"And here I was thinking that you were a highly educated man with manners, Vincent." Blaine hissed at his other older brother, who on the other hand, just smirked at him.

"Having a gay lover is already shameful, Blaine. At least look for someone who has class." Richard stated, giving Blaine a stern look.

Kurt felt Blaine's hand on his as his boyfriend gently squeezed it. Blaine gave him a sad smile before turning to his family. "I don't think insulting Kurt's family's status or the way he looks is going to make me give him up."

"Blaine is right, honey. I do wish though that our son could have picked a decent looking young man to introduce to us." Ellen said while cutting her steak.

"Mother, we both know who's the prettiest here in this room right now and it's definitely not you or Vivien." Blaine commented, making his sister frown at him in disbelief and shouting _Mom_ at the top her lungs.

"Watch your mouth, young man!" Ellen exaggeratedly exclaimed as she placed her fingers on her forehead.

"Blaine Logan Anderson! That's no way to talk to your mother!" Richard yelled, glaring furiously at his son. "If you like men, then pick someone who looks at least like a man and someone who is not a sycophant, for heaven sake!"

Blaine suddenly stood up, tossing his napkin on to the table angrily. He took a deep breath and then glowered at his father. "Father, I am not here for your acceptance or your approval. I just wanted you to meet my boyfriend whom I love. Yes, you heard me – BOYFRIEND. Now, if you will excuse us, we have a date to which we are more likely to attend rather than to stay here and listen to all of your insults about Kurt."

Blaine gripped Kurt's hand before turning to look at his mother. "For the record mom, this coat that Kurt is wearing is not just any '08 collection. It's from the Marc Jacobs limited fall collection that even Uncle Kenny wasn't able to get. Because you got drunk and puked on Marc, back at the '08 fashion show. Remember?"

With that, Blaine drug Kurt with him out of the Anderson Mansion. He remembers hearing Ellen Anderson screaming and Richard clutching his shot gun. He also remembers Blaine holding his hand tightly before getting in to his Lamborghini.

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><p>"Kurt! I've been looking for you. Where have you been?" Orlando asked when Kurt showed up in the entrance hall.<p>

"Ah, I was...um…upstairs, checking out the rooms." Kurt said, startled, as he approached his worried husband.

"You look disoriented." Orlando pointed out before giving Kurt a squeeze on his shoulder.

Kurt tried to avoid his husband's eyes. "I got lost, sorry."

"Did you like the rooms, Kurt?" Clarissa asked, cutting them off from their conversation.

"It's very spacious." He replied. Deep inside he's thanking Clarissa for changing the topic. He doesn't want Orlando knowing that this house meant something to him before.

"It is. The children can have separate rooms, plus you can accommodate many guests who would like to stay over." The real estate agent smiled proudly before turning her attention to her ringing phone.

"What's that?" Orlando asked Kurt when Clarissa turned to leave the room, her phone on her ears.

"Huh?"

"The box that you're holding; what's that?" Orlando repeated, gesturing to the brown box he's holding.

"Erm- it's a-"

"I apologize for interrupting. I handed that to Master Hummel. Its contents belong to him; he left the items when he was still a young boy. I believe my master wasn't able to return them." replied a voice behind them.

Kurt turned to see Freddy, the Anderson's old butler, standing behind them. In his left hand he was holding black luggage. The old man kept a straight face, but his eyes focused on Kurt, making him even more uncomfortable.

"Oh! You're the housekeeper? I didn't know Kurt visited this house before." exclaimed Orlando as he offered a handshake, which the old man kindly took.

"I am more of a butler, sir, than a housekeeper." Freddy noted.

"Oh Freddy, Have you finished packing all the family's belongings?" Clarissa interrupted them as she came back from the other room.

"Yes, Miss Clarissa. I certainly have." The butler kindly replies as he hands a key to her.

"The owners decided to give some of their furniture to charity. Though some they particularly wanted to be put away or burned. Privacy, you know." Clarissa stated and turned his attention back to Kurt and Orlando. "Actually, their son is a famous singer. Are you familiar with Blaine Anderson?"

"Anderson? Kurt! Isn't he one of your Dalton friends?" Orlando asked Kurt, nudging him from behind.

Kurt gave him a stern look before sighing. "So I've heard."

"Oh really? Most of these houses in Westerville belong to Dalton legacies. The Andersons were really powerful, well until they left of course. This house hasn't been formally advertised because the owners want everything cleared out before they sell it, so you guys are the first ones to visit. I believe this house will be media frenzy soon." added Clarissa while making exaggerating hand gestures.

Orlando nodded before looking at Clarissa closely. "When you said Anderson, Clarissa, you don't mean _The Andersons _who own hotels, malls, hospitals..."

"Yes. But on the upside, this house was given to their youngest son because he was studying here. That means, in a positive way, that the now-famous-singer Blaine Anderson is the sole owner of the house, despite the Andersons owning it." Clarissa said with a big smile; which Kurt could see she'd been faking. "I hope that the Anderson's involvement here won't tarnish your impression of the house."

"No, not at all," Orlando reassured Clarissa, "What's with all the fuss about the Andersons?"

"Well, believe me when I say that the only positive that came from that family is Blaine," Clarissa commented with a small laugh.

Kurt had to roll his eyes. Clearly, Clarissa had no idea who the Anderson family really was. There is no positive thing that could ever come from the family; not even Blaine. Orlando came from a family that got lucky in the food industry. They're very well off but they hadn't been rich enough to be acquainted with the Andersons. He suddenly noticed Freddy looking at him keenly. Uncomfortable with the butler's staring; he shifted himself closer to his husband.

"Kurt, you don't look happy. What's with the box? Baby, have you been here before?" Orlando asked confused, startling Kurt from his annoyance of the topic.

"Master Hummel and Master Blaine were … best friends." Freddy answers Orlando for Kurt with a small smile. He looks intensely at Kurt, trying to find answers; only to receive a terrified look. The old man gives a small sigh before turning to Orlando calmly, "In the box are the things that Master Hummel had left at Dalton Academy. And no, he has never been here. "

Kurt smiled gratefully at Freddy who returned the favor.

"I'm just a little tired from the house hunting, baby." Kurt lied, as he put his arms around Orlando's waist.

"In that case, we'll keep in touch with you Clarissa. My husband needs his beauty rest." Orlando states while smiling at the real estate agent, who blushes lightly.

I'll be leaving then, Miss Clarissa. I have to catch my flight." Freddy said, bowing his head slightly. "I'll go ahead now, Mr. Orlando and Mr. Kurt. Feel free to roam around the house."

When the old man disappears Orlando looks to Kurt, asking where the man is going.

"Freddy? He's living with the Andersons in London."

* * *

><p>"Fantastic. Isn't the Anderson's mansion great, Kurt?" Orlando asks on the way to their car.<p>

"It's wonderful but isn't it a bit far from Lima, don't you think? Not to mention its miles away from New York." Kurt commented as he frees himself of his concerns.

"With this house, Carol and Burt can stay as long as they want. Plus, it's like a getaway to show business. I kind of like this country feeling. Besides, we talked about this before baby." reasons Orlando, before entering the car.

Kurt followed. He gives Orlando a worried look while fixing his seat belt. "Isn't it too big? And it looks really expensive..."

"I know, but isn't this one of your dreams - to live in a castle?" Orlando induced, turning his head to Kurt to face him.

"I would be lying if I said I no." Kurt admitted. He had dreamed of living in that mansion before, but with a different person. He didn't think that dream would come true after he and Blaine broke up.

"But if you are not comfortable, Kurt, you can tell me. We'll not pursue it." Orlando says softly, raising his hands to lift Kurt's chin up.

"No, no, no. I'm okay. You like it, don't you?" Kurt asked Orlando, giving him a genuine smile.

Orlando's face shined. He slowly closes the gap between them to give Kurt a soft kiss. "I more than like it Kurt. To be honest, it's more of love at first sight."

"Then let's take it." Kurt said; his face flustered.

Ironically, it was love at first sight for him too, not of the mansion but to the one who once lived there.

The trip to Lima was quiet. Kurt spent the two hour drive pretending to be asleep. He didn't want to answer any question that Orlando might ask. His husband probably knows that Kurt and Blaine were more than just friends. Now, he knows that Kurt and Blaine were good friends. And he doesn't want any information to go further than that. He felt uncomfortable for hiding this from Orlando. He just doesn't want his husband finding out something he's been ashamed of. He always thought that when one got married, one would have to share everything even one's past. For Kurt, his past is something he would like buried in his heart until he dies.

"Kurt, what happened between you and Blaine Anderson?" Orlando quietly asks, his eyes fixed on the road.

"Nothing really, I guess friends grow apart." Kurt lied, tilting his head slightly.

"I see. Here I was thinking we could get a discount." Orlando joked, patting Kurt's shoulder playfully.

Kurt stared at his husband disapprovingly before laughing. "Orlando!"

"Sorry. I was just trying to lighten up the mood."

Orlando did not ask more than that. Kurt was a bit afraid that Orlando might know something more; though he's glad he's giving him space. He needed that and he's thankful that his husband is very understanding. He just needs to get this house issue done so they can move on. Plus, he's a bit glad that Blaine did him the favour of leaving the country. At least now, his life will be Anderson-free which also means complicated-free.

When they arrived in Lima, the sun had already set. Kurt had called his father yesterday to inform him that they would be visiting Ohio for a day and they would stay at his place for the night. Carole welcomed them with a big smile on her face and invited them in for dinner. Burt was already at the table when the couple showed up. The moment his father saw them, he immediately stood up and hugged Kurt and Orlando, exclaiming how happy he was to see them again.

"What took you guys so long?" Burt asked, gazing at the couple.

"We've been looking for a house in Westerville, Burt." Orlando replied with a smile.

"Westerville? Why?" his father asked confusedly, narrowing his eyes.

"But that's two hours away from here." Carole complained, pouting her lips.

Kurt smiled at Carole and reached for her hands. "I know. Tell that to my husband."

"Any particular residence you like, Orlando?" Burt asked before putting a spoonful of mashed potato in his mouth.

"Yes, I've been eyeing this huge house. It's very lovely. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this castle in the middle of Harlem Center Village, Westerville. It's like a village of royalty." Orlando explained animatedly. Kurt nervously looked at his father who'd been listening to his husband keenly.

"Harlem Village you say?" Burt forced a smile before staring at Kurt. "Great. I'd like to visit the place once you're settled in."

"Dad, we're still thinking about it..." Kurt tried to retort but his father just shrugged.

"Well, whatever Orlando decides, it must be for the good of your family." Burt said approvingly, giving Orlando a small smile.

"You always take his side, Dad!" protested Kurt.

Burt laughed before giving Orlando a high-five. "He's my son now too, Kurt.

After dinner, Burt invited Kurt to the patio to talk while Orlando helped Carole with the dishes. His father sat on the wooden chair near the door and gestured to Kurt to sit beside him.

"Where are the kids?" Burt asked him.

"We left them at Orlando's parents. We'll bring them the next time we visit." Kurt simply replied.

"So... Harlem Village? Really, Kurt?" Burt finally asked; his eyes narrowed dangerously.

Kurt had expected this "talk" the moment his husband mentioned Harlem Village to Burt. He nodded silently before sighing. "Dad, yeah, we visited the Anderson's house."

"Don't tell me that Orlando has an eye for it?" His father asked disapprovingly.

"He- I don't know Dad." He admitted, crossing his arms.

"Kurt, that house reeks with their scent of dirty doings. Tell Orlando the truth to get it over with." Burt exclaimed, standing up immediately and towering over his son.

Kurt looked up at his dad with pleading eyes. "I can't dad! I can't tell him that."

"The man loves you. He will understand." Burt grounded out, almost fiercely.

"It's nothing but an empty house!" cried Kurt, slowly standing from his chair.

"Really? Is it, really? Because the last time I heard you talking about that house, was when you wanted to live there and raise kids with that Anderson kid!" Burt angrily exclaimed; his hand gripped the wooden chair tightly.

"Dad, please! This is not about Blaine or Harold or Ellen or the whole Anderson household, okay?" Kurt cried. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, and looked at Burt frustratedly. "This is about a house - an empty, humungous, and beautiful house, that Orlando and I think would be best to raise our kids!"

"Why can't you just tell Orlando what happened? And why on earth, do you have to pick a house that the Andersons once owned?" His father questioned furiously, his fist clenched at his side.

"Because that's what Orlando wants!" Kurt whimpered, tears starting to flow from his eyes. "I love him dad. I want a new beginning with him. I don't want everything about my life to revolve around Blaine and what he has done to me."

Burt was startled to see his son crying. For a moment, he silently looks at Kurt. He wanted to understand him and his intentions. But he had seen what Blaine and his family had done to his boy and he couldn't help being protective. It took a long time for his son to finally be happy again and he's not going to let Blaine or his old castle ruin that. But seeing him crying and pleading in front of him for Orlando and not for Blaine scared him. It reminded him that this is not his teenage son who is pleading to let him go to a party with his first love, but his married son who is building a life with Orlando. He knew that one day he would have to face the harsh reality that his only son would leave him and grow up but he didn't expect it to be this soon.

Suddenly Burt felt soft arms embracing him. Kurt looked up at him and sobbed. "Dad, Orlando has given me this chance to love and be myself again. I don't mind living in their house because I am certain that we can make new memories there. The house may contain certain memories but that doesn't mean it will bring back the past."

Kurt tilted his head a bit and rests it on his father's chest. He heard his father sigh as he embraced him back.

"He's somewhere in Europe Dad. He's not going to ruin me anymore. I would not let him ruin me." Kurt added, burying his face in Burt's chest. "I admit I was uncomfortable being inside the Anderson's house again but I knew I'd have Orlando by my side. He'll be my strength when I feel vulnerable and sad. If my husband wants the house, it's okay. At least I can face my fears and get over it."

Burt nodded but said nothing. Kurt felt his father's strong hands patting his back. He smiled at himself as he wipes the tears from his face.

"Dad I married Orlando. I picked him over Blaine. I don't love him anymore. What he did to me was beyond horrible. It was a long time ago." Kurt said, looking up at Burt with an assuring smile. "I am not in pain anymore. I am not even trying to kill myself or thinking about what could have been or what. That house is just a house, Dad. What's more important is the one living in it and the one who's going to make new memories in it."

"Sorry son," Burt whispered, kissing his son's forehead, "…though, I still think that Orlando should know."

* * *

><p>Kurt silently entered his old room. He saw his husband already on the bed in his pajamas. He blinked, adjusting his yes to the darkness and approached Orlando.<p>

"I heard you and your dad fighting. Everything alright?" Orlando asked as he pulled himself up in a sitting position to look at him.

"Yeah. Dad is just... you know, being Dad." Kurt said kindly, sitting next to his husband and giving him an embrace.

Orlando smiled at him. He ran his hands through Kurt's hair, messing it lightly. "Anything I should know? If he's worried that the house might be expensive, tell him, it's okay. We have enough money to buy the house."

"Baby, we both know that _you_ have enough money to buy that house." Kurt rolled his eyes as he pulled back to look at his husband.

"Hey, what happened to what I own is also yours?" Orlando chuckled lightly.

"Fine," Kurt replied, smiling. "Don't worry about Dad. He's just worried about us."

"Well, why would he worry when you've got me?" His husband teased, kissing his neck softly.

Kurt pushed him lightly and glared at him. "Don't be too conceited, big guy. You just might get it tonight."

"Is that a challenge? I'd like that."

Kurt gazed at his husband lovingly, forgetting everything about Blaine, the Andersons, the castle and the brown box that their butler had given him. Tonight, it's about him and his husband. And of course, their future.


	5. Old Friends

**Hi. Thank you for your kind words. I'd like to clarify a few things though - this is indeed a Klaine Fic. :-) Kurt is the main character though so the story revolves more on what's going on with his life and on his mind. And last, thank you for reading. I hope you all like it. **Thank you to my awesome beta reader - LindsaylovesPacey. ****

* * *

><p>It was a busy and ordinary day in New York. The city was already packed with tourists and locals who were ready to explore what the Big Apple had to offer. Kurt Hummel guides his car in heavy Monday morning traffic. He had his music on maximum volume to numb his brain from his thoughts. A lot of vehicles whizzed by but he didn't really notice. His mind was too preoccupied to even care. He couldn't handle the noise outside but he was also afraid to hear his own breathing, so he drowns himself in music. Desperately trying to convince himself that he shouldn't be focusing on one particular person. Kurt takes in the views as he drives towards Broadway Street; people lining up for coffee at a nearby café, the ever busy Central Park, yellow cabs on the road.<p>

Ever since their little trip in Ohio last week Kurt has been agitated. He wishes he wasn't but he can't help it. He tried being nonchalant about the matter but the whole story about his ex-boyfriend who tried to kill himself has made Kurt distressed. Yes, he's annoyed that he can't stop thinking about it and he's angry that Blaine still has that power over him. But the truth is, a part of him wanted to know why his ex-boyfriend would even try to end his life and yet a part of him is scared to know the answer. He doesn't want to expose himself to their past. Kurt can't let Blaine win. Not this time.

And it doesn't really help that his husband will be gone for a week. Orlando's newest investor was going to watch a ballet show in Russia and had invited him to go and spend a week there. Kurt finds it ridiculous but since Orlando told him that the man was very interested in sponsoring the show, he decided to be supportive. But really, he just wanted to have his husband by his side especially now that Blaine's memories have come back to haunt him again.

After a short drive to the Wilson theatre, Kurt goes to his show's daily rehearsal with a fake smile. He had promised Orlando to meet up with him after the show at Le Cirque Restaurant for a small intimate dinner together. Though troubled, Kurt went meanders through rehearsal with a professional attitude and their director, Roberto, doesn't seem to notice his slight depression. He prides himself for being a professional and not even Blaine or his suicide attempts could ruin it.

Later that evening, he hurriedly drives down East 58th street as he worries that his husband might get upset that he's late for their date. Upon arriving, he kindly asks for his table. The middle-aged, brunette host smiles at him and politely leads the way. Orlando was already at their table and he immediately stood up the moment he saw Kurt.

"Always the grand entrance, love." Orlando stated with a big grin on his face.

Kurt reached for Orlando's hand and they stood there for a while, smiling at each other. Orlando pulled the chair out from across him to let Kurt sit. Their dinner was nothing spectacular, but it was intimate enough for the couple. Kurt animatedly shared his day with Orlando whom gave him an amused smile. From the demanding requests of Roberto, their director, to the exaggerated acting of his co-star, Melanie Pierce; Kurt shares it with his husband like he's sharing it with his best friend. Orlando listens to him intently; his right hand on his face, as he sneaks in some remarks whenever he feels obligated. Kurt is grateful for his husband's way of conciliation but still he's sad that he's leaving him tomorrow.

"Do you really have to go to Russia?" Kurt finally asked as he squeezes his husband's hand.

Orlando looked at him warmly, grabbing his lovers hand and pulling it near him. He offered him a remorseful smile. "Yeah, but I'll be back next week."

"The kids are not going to be happy about this." Kurt commented seriously, his tone warning and calculative.

The older man turned his eyes on him; obviously taken aback, but he shrugged it off. "I know. I'll make it up to them." Orlando replied sadly, his smile slowly falling.

Kurt can feel the remorse in his lover's tone and he can't help feeling guilty for even warning him like that. They tried really hard to make sure that they could spend more time with their kids as much as possible but having a Broadway show really makes it a bit impossible. The kids are too young to watch Kurt's show and Orlando has been busy composing new scores for his new play. The hired nanny told them that the kids had been upset when Orlando had cancelled their zoo trip last week so Kurt had promised to take them tomorrow.

"Make sure you tell them that you're going and when you're coming back." Kurt noted, forcing a small smile to lighten up the mood.

Their children are quite different from each other and Kurt couldn't help but to notice the uncanny resemblance and traits that they had inherited from both of them. Their daughter, Coco, has always been oblivious and free-minded. She doesn't really mind if her fathers aren't always home as long as she gets her favourite things. More often than not, Kurt will bring her the latest clothes collection, gadgets or anything that sparkles. She loves everything Kurt brings her and in exchange she forgives him for breaking some of the promises he has made. On the contrary, Orlando spoils Coco like a princess and would buy anything she asks. Kurt does not like his husband being compliant to her. Orlando usually gets an hour-long lesson on parenting from him. Alfie, on the other hand, is another story. Though twins, the young boy is the exact opposite of his sister. He does not act like a prince or a spoiled-rich kid rather he acts like a loner. He's quiet for his age and he would rather read a book than play video games, unlike most of the kids. He's also captivated with music and would watch MTV every night. Kurt approves of his son's dislike of luxury things. But it also worries him when he doesn't ask for anything. Orlando had given their son a credit card so he could buy what he wants, but it seems like the kid has never used it. Alfie's professor at Loyola Private School had mentioned to Kurt once that the boy was too smart for his age and that he was an accelerator. It made them proud; still Kurt could feel his son's aloofness and detachment from them and it scared him.

"I promise." Orlando nodded; he winked at Kurt and smiled. For a moment, Kurt forgot his worries. "Will you miss me?"

"No."

"Wow. Really, Baby?" Orlando cried dramatically, pretending to be hurt from Kurt's abrupt no.

"Of course I'll miss you, silly," Kurt answered, rolling his eyes. He leaned back on his chair as he smirked at Orlando who gave a small laugh. "Stop being so melodramatic."

"I love you." Orlando said, his forearm resting on his face as he looked at Kurt lovingly with his green eyes.

Kurt stared at his husband, feeling overwhelmed by Déjà vu. He felt his body freeze for a moment. He suddenly recalls a certain scenario that happened 12 years ago in a coffee shop he used to love. It was said in the same manner and same tone that it had him taken aback. He forced himself back to reality as he tried to hide his worries so he could give Orlando a grateful smile.

"I-I love you too." Kurt replied. His heart was pounding like crazy. He silently cursed himself for stuttering.

Thankfully, Orlando didn't notice for he continued to smile at his husband like a love-sick teenager. "By the way, Rachel called. She's inviting you over for dinner tomorrow with Finn and Quinn."

"Quinn?" Kurt asked in surprise. "She's in New York?"

"Yeah, Rachel mentioned that she's visiting." Orlando answered as he turned his eyes back to his pasta.

"Great! I'll send your love to them." Kurt stated in excitement. He hadn't seen Quinn for almost three years and he couldn't wait to talk to her again. When Orlando chuckled lightly, Kurt managed to tone down his smile and gaze at his husband fondly, "Do you need me to drive you to the airport tomorrow?"

Orlando laughed and threw a wink at Kurt. "Don't worry, baby. I can manage."

That dinner was all it took to make Kurt feel like he has nothing to worry about as far as the Blaine issue. It made him realize that he has the most amazing and caring husband. Orlando insisted he should be the one to pay since he was leaving for a whole week; also because he was the one who asked for the date. The couple walked towards the lobby to wait for the valet to fetch their car.

"Kurt? Kurt Hummel?"

Kurt turned and saw a familiar Asian American man. One he noticed was taller and older looking than the last time he saw him. The man was wearing a mahogany Ferragamo suit, black eye glasses, and a pair of Tom Ford leather black shoes. WesleyMontgomery was the Dalton Academy Warbler's ex-head council, school prefect, student body president, and one of Blaine's best friends; stared back at him in shock. Kurt took a large gulp and froze at the sight.

"Wes?" He managed, as he tried to compose himself. He saw Wes' face brightened as he walked over to him and gave him a tight hug. Kurt offered the Warbler a hesitant smile. "Hey, it's been so long! What are you doing here?"

"I met up with one of my clients for business." Wes informed him, before patting him on his back. "Damn, look at you Mr. Broadway superstar."

Kurt chuckled tensely. After he broke up with Blaine, he avoided all the Warblers especially Wes and David. He didn't see the need to communicate with his ex-boyfriend's mates for it would only add to the pain. He truly considered them as his friends, but for Kurt, keeping in touch with them was like keeping in touch with Blaine. He refused to be a part of Blaine's life anymore so he decided to move on and forget everything about his old lover; his friends included. Kurt hadn't seen any of the Warblers for a decade and he was surprised to see Wes genuinely smile at him as if nothing had happened. Wes was always the understanding one and he used to be so close with him. The Asian was usually Blaine's counselor every time the two had a fight and more often than not, he took Kurt's side. Wes was the one with insightful advice even though he delivered it with a harsh, demanding and mostly demeaning tone. He understood the two of them and he cared deeply about their relationship, like how Mercedes and Rachel cared about them. Kurt immediately felt different. He was about to say something to Wes when his husband cleared his throat to get his attention.

"Oh, Wes, this is my husband, Orlando." Kurt introduced nervously; gesturing his hand to Orlando. He turned his gaze to his husband and offered him a cautious smile. "Orlando, this is Wes, one of my friends from Dalton."

"You're married? I didn't know!" Wes commented in surprise. He enthusiastically reached for Orlando's hand and shook it softly, "Nice to meet you."

"I would've invited–" Kurt tried, not entirely sure how to put his words together. He wanted to explain himself to Wes and tell him about his insecurities and decisions in regards to Blaine. He looked at Wes and tried to be apologetic but Wes just let out a laugh and gazed back at him with an understanding façade.

"It's okay Kurt. I completely understand."

This is it. Though thankful for Wes' kind words, he didn't like where the conversation was going. Kurt felt uncomfortable. He knew Blaine's name would come up if he continued with this little conversation he was having with his old friend. Kurt stared at the door where he saw the valet boy waving at them. He threw a glance to his husband, before returning his attention back to Wes.

"We're just waiting for our car… and it looks like it's here now… so…"

"Oh yeah, sure," Wes said, noticing Kurt's discomfort. He offered him a polite and understanding smile before immediately shoving his hands in his pockets, pulling out a calling card from his wallet. "Kurt, I'd really like to catch up with you, so here's my card. Call me, please."

"Yeah." Kurt hesitantly took the card. He then realized that Wes' eyes were on his. He was trying to tell him something but Kurt could see he was trying to hide it for Orlando's sake. So, Kurt just shrugged and beamed at his old friend. "It was nice seeing you again, Wes."

"You too, Kurt. But I'd like to see you again." Wes said, almost pleadingly then he turned to Orlando and smiled, "And it was nice meeting you, Orlando. Sorry for keeping you guys."

"Not at all," Orlando replied.

* * *

><p>The moment they entered the car, Kurt felt the tension but he kept it to himself. After turning on the engine, he tried driving carefully but having his husband stare at him curiously made him feel cautious. He hated this feeling; like he'd been caught doing something horrible, which wasn't true. But still, he couldn't help feeling that way. His self control over the matter had been wiped away and he had no one to blame but Blaine. Yes, it was Blaine still eating away his equanimity and poise, even though he was miles away. Kurt suddenly hit the brakes hard, wanting to get out of the car and run as fast as he could. He realized that his husband was on the passenger side gawking at him.<p>

"You look really awkward there, Kurt." Orlando said breaking the silence that had fallen over them.

Kurt took a deep breath and tried to avoid his eyes. Why does he feel so nervous? It's not like he's cheating on Orlando. It was just his stupid past he had with Blaine that involved some of the richest kids of America and Wes happened to be one of them. But he doesn't understand why he's determined not to tell Orlando. It's not like he had something horrible to hide. Plus, he was over it and he's pretty sure he's not in love with Blaine anymore. Still Kurt decided to pretend not to know what Orlando was getting at. It was much easier to deny what happened than to face the truth. And Kurt couldn't picture what would happen if he ever tried to tell the Blaine story to Orlando. He doesn't want any complications; he just wants the easy way out.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt could hear the denial in his own voice though he attempted to keep his voice calm and normal. His eyelashes might have skirmished a bit, but he's pretty sure that Orlando wouldn't notice it.

"Is he really a friend?" Orlando asked curiously as he furrowed his brows, noticing the abrupt answers and edgy acts of his husband.

"Yes he is." Kurt replied, as he swiftly turned at the intersection to the Upper East Side. He faltered for a moment and sighed, before he explained. "We just haven't seen each other for a very long time, I guess. And he looked really grown up".

"Old fling perhaps?" Orlando asked; his eyes twinkled at Kurt as he leaned forward trying to get a reaction from him.

Kurt gaped at his husband, clearly flabbergasted. He wanted to say something sarcastic to mock or annoy his husband for making stupid assumptions in his head. Though, he's thankful that his worries were now forgotten because of his little innocent remark. He figured that whatever happened and whoever they crossed; even if it was Blaine related or not; he knew why he was with Orlando. It's much simpler with him. There were no worries, no complicated family, no need to please anybody, or constant drama that made him want to kill himself. Orlando was the perfect prince charming that any person would want. With him, everything seemed easy. It doesn't matter if he still has issues with his ex, or if he's worried that his past would ruin him. Because he's pretty sure that he'll overcome it soon enough; as long as he's with his husband. Kurt blinked at his husband, clearly astounded, before laughing. His eyes cringed as he tried to gasp for air. "Baby, that guy is as straight as a metal pole. Okay? Let it go."

"Sorry, just trying to make you smile." Orlando chuckled, still amused at his husband's laughter.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Kurt helped Orlando pack his things. He asked his husband if he could drive him again to the airport but Orlando informed him that he had already called for a cab and he should just rest on his day off. Coco and Alfie woke up surprisingly early to see their father off, ignoring Kurt's protests to go back to bed. Orlando just laughed it off and apologized to the kids for breaking his promise to go to the zoo with them and promised that he'd bring them some presents when he comes back. After kissing them goodbye, he turned to his husband and kissed him full on the lips. Kurt blushed and complained that he shouldn't do that in front of the kids but Orlando just smiled.<p>

"I want to make love toyou when I get back." Orlando said, his voice teasing.

Before Kurt could smack him, he quickly left the apartment and walked towards the waiting cab. Kurt eyes widened as he stared at his husband then to his children who were sniggering beside him. He stared at them before raising an eyebrow, his right arm on his hips.

"Papa, I guess you're stuck with porn for now." Alfie commented innocently before running off with his twin sister.

"Alexander Alfie Hummel-Quenelle! You get back here this instant!"

* * *

><p>An abrupt call from his director had ruined Kurt's schedule for the day. Apparently, their cast was asked to perform for the Tony Awards; and they needed to rehearse today at the Beacon Theatre. Of course he was happy that they'd get to perform at the Tony's, but a part of him was upset that he wouldn't be able to accompany the kids to the zoo. They'd been looking forward to it for a week and they'd be disappointed if it wasn't pushed through. It was bad enough that Orlando wouldn't be there with them. Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath before climbing upstairs to his twins' shared bedroom. The kids, who were lying on their bed, looked up the moment he opened the door, and he couldn't help but to give them a sympathetic look.<p>

"I have work today, babies." Kurt said awkwardly as he leaned his shoulder on the door frame, softly embracing himself.

Coco gave him a forced smile and went back to playing on her iPad, while Alfie gaped at him with clear disappointment written on his face. The boy shrugged at him and snapped his book closed to get his father's attention.

"What a surprise!" Alfie said sarcastically. He puffed and rolled his eyes then went back to reading his book.

Kurt swallowed thickly; his son's words obviously pained him. He gave them an apologetic smile and left. He felt his tears streaming slowly down his face as he ran back to his room. He took out his Alexander McQueen polo and threw it on the bed. Kurt took a deep breath before removing his shirt and his skinny jeans. When he reached for his McQueen polo, he started to break down. He felt ashamed for not having enough time for his kids. Usually, Orlando would give him words of comfort whenever he felt like this, but given the circumstances, Kurt cried for himself and for his mistakes. He huffed and took another deep breath. He needed to be strong for himself and for the kids. So Kurt tried to compose himself, forced a smile, as he took his keys and went to work.

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><p>It was almost eight o'clock and Kurt was already late for his dinner date with Rachel, Finn and Quinn. After rushing with the heavy traffic of New York City, Kurt immediately walked over to the hostess and asked for his friends' table. Immediately recognizing her customer, she led him with a smile to his table. When he caught sight of his three friends, they stood up and gave him warm hugs and kisses. Rachel looked pretty in her simple Versace black dress, while Finn looked uncomfortable in his suit. Kurt thought it looked fitting if only his step-brother would be a little more confident in it. On the other hand, Quinn's outfit was a scene stealer. She wore a plain, blue, vintage dress that complimented her blue eyes. She had left her long blond hair down and the simplicity boosted her beauty. Kurt tenderly smiled at them and sat beside Quinn who gave him another big hug before looking back at the menu.<p>

"I deeply apologize for being late. The director was more demanding today than before." Kurt said, resting his forearms on the table, as he beamed at them.

"Is Roberto giving you a hard time?" Rachel asked in a warning tone.

Kurt rolled his eyes and gave her an exasperated look. "No, Rachel. It's his job to be demanding especially if we're performing for the Tony's."

Rachel and Quinn's face brightened as they both said their congratulations. Finn looked at them bewilderedly but congratulated Kurt nonetheless. After giving their orders to the waiter, Kurt turned his gaze to the blond girl beside him who responded with a sweet smile.

"How are you, Quinn? How's L.A.? I haven't seen you in a while." He smiled widely, as he reached for his wine and took a sip.

"Five years," Quinn reminded him, pointing her right hand to the ceiling and pretending to think. "L.A.'s still sunny and busy. I've been busy organizing concerts and studio performances for well-known musicians. That's about it, I think. Enough about me, How are you guys?"

Rachel happily clapped her hands as she enthusiastically glanced at them, letting Kurt know that it was her turn to answer the question. Kurt tried not to roll his eyes but decided to let her do what she wanted.

"Actually, Kurt here is still married to his lovely husband Orlando. And is still the main star of the very popular, and controversial, Broadway show called _The Secret Diaries of a Diva _which was written by his very talented husband." Rachel announced, gesturing to Kurt proudly.

"Where is he?" Quinn asked, tilting her head a bit, as she looked at Rachel and Kurt curiously.

"He's meeting one of the producers in Russia," Kurt answered with a sigh. "I have no idea what their up to."

Rachel gave Kurt a concerned look and smiled. Wanting to continue the interrupted conversation, she took a sip from her wine and coughed a bit to get their attention. "As for me, I'm busy with my up and coming movie Les Miserable and Finn here is doing well with his tire shop."

"That's amazing Rachel." Quinn gushed before turning her attention to Finn. "And you took over Burt's old shop. That's really cool."

"Being married to a movie star is cooler." Finn noted, smiling back at Quinn, before surprising Rachel with a sudden kiss to her cheeks.

She blushed a bit and smiled widely. "Having kids with a tire shop owner is way awesome too."

Quinn chuckled at them while Kurt rolled his eyes. The dinner turned out to be a mini-reunion as they shared their favorite high school and glee club memories with each other. From their first audition, and cheating scandals, to Jesse St. James and Sue Sylvester, and even Quinn's old group "The Skanks" – the four laughed, did some quick impersonations and narrated all their funny experiences and life lessons. Kurt felt himself worry-free as he gazed at his friends, truly enjoying their company. When their conversation turned to the living arrangement of the Hudson family, since Rachel had to leave for L.A. for her movie, Kurt couldn't help mentioning the house that Orlando and he had been eyeing.

"The Anderson Mansion?" Rachel asked, her eyebrows raised and her eyes judging, "What are you thinking?"

Before Kurt could say anything, Finn stared at him, his expression full of disappointment and concern. "I think it's a bad idea, Kurt."

Kurt took a deep breath and leaned forward on the table. He focused his eyes on Finn and looked at him tiredly, "We have already decided Finn. I'm just letting you know."

Rachel narrowed her eyes at Kurt, clearly judging him, before lifting her glass of wine to her lips. "Listen to your brother Kurt, it's for the best."

Kurt held his hands up asking them to stop. He sneered at them before taking another deep breath; trying to down play his frustrations. "Okay, I'm not here for your consent."

"I met Blaine in L.A. last year."

Finn, Rachel and Kurt looked at Quinn as if she hit a dangerous spot. She just shrugged as she continued to cut her salmon into pieces.

"Oh, is the bastard doing well?" Finn finally asked, after a moment of silence.

Kurt spent ten years avoiding any conversation that involved Blaine and now here he was, with his beloved friends, listening to the welfare of his ex-boyfriend. He wanted to get away and curse at them but secretly, he was more ashamed to admit that he wanted to know what Blaine had been up to. The last time he saw Blaine was on his wedding day and he had seen the obvious distress and tiredness from his ex-boyfriend. He bit his lip to stop himself from saying anything and waited for Quinn to answer Finn. He could feel the eyes of his brother and his sister-in-law so he pretended everything was normal.

"He is, actually. His record label is busy with his U.S. debut." Quinn responded, leaning back in her chair and flashing a comforting smile at Kurt.

"I don't really care, Quinn." Kurt finally said, feeling discomfort from the sympathetic gaze coming from Rachel. He reached for his wine and drank it fully before gazing back at his blond friend. "Can we change the topic now, please?"

Quinn scrunched her face and sighed, "You still hate him?"

Kurt threw her a gaze as he tried to be as apathetic as he could be. He straitened his back and he faced Quinn with a haughty smile. "No. It started as embarrassment, turned into hate, then into disgust, but now… I just don't care at all."

"He looked sad and tired, and if you listen to his songs; you can tell that he wrote them for someone he really does care about." Quinn added; her eyes stared somberly at Kurt. Her tone was soft but her words had cut Kurt like a knife. She suppressed a sigh when she realized that she had touched a sensitive topic. "I just thought that you should know. He's not the same Blaine anymore, Kurt. He's changed and it really frightened me when I saw him."

"Well good for him." Rachel simply said, wanting to finish the conversation, as she raised her glass of wine. "To changes, for without them, we would not be able to live a peaceful and happy life."

Kurt silently watched his friends raise their glasses. He hesitated a moment but he didn't want them to see that he'd been deeply affected by Quinn's revelation. But he agrees to what Rachel had stated, for without his determination to change, he might not have met Orlando and he wouldn't be this happy and free. He had experienced some of the most painful and embarrassing things in his life and Blaine played a big part of it. It did hurt him and he had constantly hurt himself for it. Now he couldn't help thinking that Blaine's part in his life made him strong enough to face the world. And because of that he can overcome any obstacle no matter how painful and shameful it may be. Maybe there was a reason behind everything that had happened to him; maybe he just needed to go with the flow.

"Cheers."


	6. Different Kinds of Love

**Didn't really expect any feedback, but I'd like to thank those who left a review and spent some time and energy in letting me know what they think and feel. Merci beaucoup. Thank you to my beta reader - LindsaylovesPacey. You're awesome.**

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><p>Kurt tried. He really did. He tried laughing, listening to his friends' jokes. He even ate his salad quickly– nothing really worked. He still felt disturbed and agitated. Of course, it was easy for him to hide what he felt because of his acting education. But still, he could feel his heart beating rapidly and a cold sweat making its way down his neck. He had always felt the need to protect himself from pain and he was good at it, until after Quinn's remarks. Now, all he can think of is Blaine.<p>

Maybe he's scared. Maybe he's devastated. Maybe he's a little angry. These familiar feelings are racing to the forefront of his mind once again, and it's breaking down his invisible wall he has worked on for 10 years. So he decides to force himself to be okay. When a door is stuck, the best way to open it is to force it. Kurt had to do it. He didn't want to breakdown and cry in front of his old friends. They knew he had moved on and he's not going to disappoint them. He will be okay.

He had to admit that he had been anxious the past few days, especially since Blaine was still making appearances in his life through others. Now, he thinks of himself as the enabler. He was here to have a good time. Past is past. It can't write the future but it can be a learning experience.

Kurt decided that he should start letting go and leaving every dirty experience he had to the past. He should just start laughing at it rather than feeling hate towards it. He's not the same naïve and innocent kid from Ohio; he's stronger now and better. And whatever his ex-boyfriend did shouldn't concern him anymore. Blaine had been part of his life before but he doesn't control Kurt's life now. He could vanish one day and Kurt wouldn't care because he'd be happy and satisfied then. He's sure of it.

Kurt tried redirecting his attention to his friends. There were a few things that he couldn't understand; like how Finn could eat so much pasta and still feel hungry afterwards? Or how Rachel could talk so much without having her throat void of saliva? Or how Quinn could stay pretty even when she's laughing horrendously? And how he could listen to them talk about silly things and still find it amusing. Kurt was thankful that Rachel had an enormous amount of topics she could discuss; because it prohibited Quinn from mentioning Blaine again. Not that he was waiting for that particular topic to come up. Because he could act like nothing was bothering him. He's not going to panic like before. Kurt had learned his lesson.

Around ten O'clock, Rachel and Finn decided to call it a day with the reason that their daughter wouldn't sleep when they weren't around. Kurt found it ridiculous since their kid had just turned eight last month. He thought them using their daughter as a reason was very wise. Kurt and Quinn couldn't really force them to stay longer knowing that their daughter was having tantrums on the other side of the city. After the Hudson's left, the room was engulfed in silence. There were only a few costumers left and they were all eating silently. Kurt tried not to look awkward in front of Quinn and tried to remain nonchalant. He gave her a bright smile that the latter returned before ordering chocolate cake for dessert.

"I'm sorry about the Blaine thing." Quinn muttered after the waiter took the order and left.

"It's okay. There's no need to apologize." Kurt said, and then paused. He bit his lower lip and looked at Quinn with hesitation. He knew this subject would be re-visited once they were alone. He was expecting this conversation to arise and he couldn't hide his interest any longer. Quinn had always been the understanding one. She evolved from a pessimistic mean girl to a woman of reason. Kurt admired her for that. "So... speaking of Blaine Anderson…"

Quinn's eyes suddenly shot right up to his. She looked at him confusedly, trying to read where Kurt was going with the conversation, and then she smiled. It wasn't teasing or smug, but more of a knowing grin. Kurt took it as a signal to continue.

"You said he's changed? What do you mean?"

Quinn hesitated for a moment. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped, then she drank some wine to sooth her throat. She ran her fingers through her hair before looking back at Kurt, "Yeah. He's even more handsome than before. "

Kurt raised his eyebrow at Quinn with complete dissatisfaction. He was about to mock her for her comment but he was interrupted when the waiter came back with their order. After the chocolate cake had been served and they were left alone again, Quinn laughed a little, breaking the abrupt silence between them by shaking her head.

"We knew him as a people pleaser, friendly, outgoing, always smiling, a gentleman, polite… I don't know Kurt. When I saw him, he seemed more concern as to why I was talking to him. He seemed scared that I might hit him or make fun of him." Quinn explained, her voice faltering. Her eyes were serious as she cast them to Kurt. She took a deep breath before continuing.

"He talks a little, smiles when he has to and mostly communicates through body language. He just looks like an outsider rather than a famous happy singer. And his eyes, they're just sad."

Kurt wanted to smile but he couldn't; not when he was hearing all these revelations. The truth was he had never talked about Blaine not since their break up. His friends and family respected his wishes. Without his knowing, time passed by and he started to forget until Blaine showed up on his wedding day. His presence angered him deeply. That day was supposed to be special and he couldn't believe Blaine would parade himself around in front of his husband and family. Though, the truth is, it also confused him as to why he came and what his purpose was. He never got the answers to his questions. Blaine didn't really do anything to ruin his day. He just watched Kurt walk down the aisle and get married before disappearing. That was the last time he saw Blaine. For ten years, Kurt had only cared about himself, his family and his future. He tried really hard to make his life his own again. Now, his past was haunting him. He would be lying if he said that he hadn't seen it coming. One day or another, Blaine's name would pop out in a conversation whether it was with his friends or colleagues, accidentally or not and Kurt couldn't do anything about it. He knew he had to be strong in order for him not to care. But that was not the case; his pain was still there inside of him and his tough attitude and optimism that had protected him ever since Blaine left were starting to fade. After years of trying, he's here now with his high school friend looking frail rather than strong.

Kurt sighed, a smirk pulling at his lips, "Well he didn't look like it when I saw his interview on E."

"Really?" Quinn asked; her face full of interest and concern. She leaned forward, resting both of her elbows on the table, and stared at him keenly.

"Really. And then I changed the channel as soon as I saw his face."

"Kurt, what we see on TV is not always as it seems. Sometimes, we want to believe so desperately that we convince ourselves that it's real. That it is what is. But in truth, it's not." Quinn replied forlornly. She leaned back against her chair and stared at the ceiling, trying to compose herself.

Kurt didn't say anything after that, mostly because he didn't know what to say. Quinn just smiled sadly at him before drinking her wine. They stayed silent, watching and understanding each other's sentiments. She didn't try to bring the topic again. For a moment, Kurt and Quinn seemed to have all the space in the world. They lean their heads against the top rail of their chair, eating their cake as if it's the only medicine to whatever ache they're feeling right now. Kurt accepted the silence in remorse. He doesn't know anything about Blaine anymore and maybe, Quinn is right about being deceived by what he sees on TV. He believed that Blaine must be having the time of his life now that he's famous and living his dream but now, he wasn't so sure. He had protected himself too much that his hatred with Blaine has blinded him to the truth. But now that he's been enlightened, it just made him more confused.

After paying the bill equally, Kurt invited Quinn to stay at his apartment for the rest of her visit. She accepted with a grateful smile before hugging him tightly. Kurt drove her to the hotel to get her things. She was informed by the receptionist, that check-out would be in the morning. She kindly regarded this and agreed to come back to deal with it the next day. After her luggage was safely placed in the car's trunk, Kurt drove her back to his apartment located in Manhattan's Upper East Side.

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><p>The lights were still turned on when they arrived. Kurt made his way to the living room and saw the twins and their Nanny watching MTV on their flat-screened TV. Alfie was sitting lazily with his nanny on the couch while Coco was mimicking the singers they'd been watching. Kurt tried to hide his smile before clearing his throat to get their attention. When Coco finally noticed him, she ran and jumped on him, wrapping her tiny arms around his slender body. The nanny smiled brightly at Kurt and excused herself to give the family some private time. Alfie glanced at Kurt, to acknowledge his presence before re-focusing his eyes back to the TV. Kurt understood that his son was still upset because of the sudden cancellation of their zoo trip. He decided to allow Alfie's rude behavior slide to avoid arguing with his son. Afraid that she might be interrupting family bonding time, Quinn shyly peeped her head into the door and waved to the children.<p>

"Hey guys, guess who's crashing here for a few days?" Kurt grinned as he gestured to Quinn who approached them timidly.

"Hi, you look like my doll." Coco said, as she snuggled into Kurt's chest, slightly peeking at Quinn.

"Why, thank you Coco." Quinn replied with a wide smile, walking closer to her to get a good view of her face.

The little girl smiled at her smartly. She wiggled her feet to indicate to her father to put her down. Once on the ground, she glided towards Quinn and fondly gazed at her. "You're welcome, Barbie."

"Is she our new nanny?" Alfie suddenly asked. He looked at Quinn and Kurt with a weary look on his face. His arms crossed, showing that he was unhappy with the arrangement. Bored and annoyed, his eyes went back to the TV.

"No honey. She's your Aunt Quinn. She's one of my best friends from high school." Kurt replied, trying to hide his soreness from his son's tone and action.

"Great, is she your replacement for our zoo trip? Because if not; then you just added another reason as to why you couldn't take us to the zoo." Alfie commented without taking his eyes off the TV.

Kurt flinched at his son's words but he tried his best to keep his normal façade. He didn't want to appear weak in front of his children but he couldn't help feeling hurt from the way his son had been treating him. He wanted a happy family but his work had been keeping him from doing that. He had no one to blame but himself and his need to fulfill his dreams. He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat before sitting down beside Alfie on the couch.

"Look, Alfie. I'm sorry about last time. I'm not backing out on our trip. I made a promise didn't I?" Kurt explained; his voice soft and understanding. He laid his hand on his son's arm, hoping that he'd look at him and see how sorry he was.

Unfortunately, his son didn't look up and seemed determined to keep the strong and bored look on his face. "Adults often break their promises."

"You have to understand. Your father and I have been busy." Kurt replied, almost pleadingly. He leaned his head closer to Alfie in order to block the TV from the little boy's view. When his face finally aligned with his son's, his eyes grew big as he quickly pulled his head away. His son's face was full of frustration and disgust.

"I do understand that you guys are always busy!"

Alfie spat then gave him a look before running upstairs and locking himself in his room. Kurt glanced at the stairs silently before resting his head on the soft rail of their sofa.

"Papa, I don't hate you." Coco suddenly said. She approached him and gave him a kiss on his cheek before walking slowly back to her room.

Kurt knew that he hadn't been the perfect father to his kids but he didn't expect he'd be treated like this. He and Orlando were both prominent figures in the Broadway industry and offers for new projects kept coming in for the both of them. Neither wanted to sacrifice their career that's why they'd decided to buy a house in another state so that they'd be forced to take a break. They weren't ready to quit. Though, Kurt knew that having children demanded sacrifice and attention. He wanted to raise his kids away from the showbiz industry but he's not ready to leave his job. He didn't think his children would be angry with them for not always being there. They both had excellent grades at their private school. As time passes; he was starting to feel distance between himself and the kids. He thought they could handle this arrangement. As it turns out, his children were already suffering. Alfie was the only one not afraid to show his resentment. Kurt had no idea things would be this hard. He felt like a stranger trying to impress them so they would like him. Quinn quietly sat beside him leaning her head on his shoulder, letting him know that she was sorry for what had happened.

"I'm sorry about that, Quinn." Kurt whispered, fighting the tears forming in his eyes.

"Hey, it's okay Kurt." Quinn replied. She tried comforting him by stroking his arm.

Kurt smiled at her gratefully; as he let his head fall on hers, "Come, I'll show you your room."

"After. Try to release this one first." Quinn whispered; her voice soft and consoling.

With that, Kurt finally let his guard down and let his tears fall from his eyes. Maybe by releasing the pain, he'd be able to be strong in his kids' eyes again. He needed to be.

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><p>The next morning, Kurt woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs. He pulled his body up slowly from his bed and climbed downstairs to see whom was cooking breakfast. He was welcomed by a warm smile from Quinn who was wearing the nanny's apron and was busy frying some eggs. He glanced around the kitchen and saw his kids sitting at the dining table waiting for their breakfast to be served. In good spirits, Kurt sat beside his son and patted the boy's shoulder to assure him that he was not mad about last night. Alfie glanced at him sadly before biting his lip.<p>

"Sorry Papa for yelling at you last night."

Kurt stared at his son then his eyes grew wide, a smile forming on his face, "Thank you, baby. You're forgiven."

Alfie smiled at him and at Quinn who gave the boy thumbs up. Kurt glanced back at his friend and gave her an appreciative smile. She gazed back at him, pretending to be clueless and went back to her cooking. He turned his attention back to his son as he touched his arm softly to get his attention.

"Listen, baby, I'm sorry about last week. How about we go to the zoo later?"

"But Daddy's not here." Alfie whispered, striving to remind him, with a sad look on his face.

Kurt gave him a reassuring smile as he wrapped his arm around him. "Don't worry, when he gets back, I'll make sure we all go to Disney Land."

"Really?" exclaimed Alfie excitedly. Kurt was amazed to see his son's sudden transformation from sad to happy. Even if he tried, he knew he couldn't hide the joy that was already plastered on his face.

"I promise." Kurt assured him.

Coco jumped out of her chair and started twirling happily. "I want to go to Hello Kitty Land!"

Kurt brightened up to see his little girl dancing in anticipation. It also helped that his son had given him a genuine smile. He felt needed and pleased. Every parent wants to see their children cheerful and for Kurt, this kind of happiness wasn't something he could achieve with his friends or partner. This was something way better than that. "I'll let your daddy know."

"You're the best Papa!" replied the twins in unison.

Kurt laughed at their antics as the twins stared at each other with a shocked look on their faces. He noticed Quinn smiling at them and when she realized that she was being watched, she gave him a wink before turning her attention back to the stove.

"I guess the family is going to the zoo tomorrow?" Quinn said, her back facing Kurt, as she concentrated on her cooking. Even though Kurt couldn't see her face, he knew the girl was smiling.

"Clear your schedule today, Princess. You're coming with us!" Kurt chuckled lightly, as he messed with his son's hair resulting in an eye narrowing look.

"Yes, sir," Quinn turned her head and smiled.

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><p>The kids were already hyper when Kurt drove passed the RFK Bridge. They were singing along with the new Nicki Minaj song that was playing on the radio. Quinn, whom was on the passenger seat, playfully crooned the second verse. When the song hit the highest note, Kurt belted out his falsetto voice overpowering the voice of the kids. They spent the whole road trip singing to the newest pop songs and laughing at some silly jokes that Quinn kept on sharing to entertain the kids. They reached the Bronx around ten after a sudden traffic jam on the Bruckner Expressway, delaying their arrival thirty minutes. The zoo was already packed with locals and tourists scattered around every corner. Kurt arranged for his daughter to walk with him, while his son was to walk with Quinn in case got separated. They went to the Madagascar area first since the twins wanted to see the Mongoose and the Lemurs. Kurt got frightened at the sight of the crocodiles which made Quinn laugh, but was soon retaliated when they reached the hissing cockroaches; which absolutely horrified her. Afterwards, they went to the Jungle World where the kids joyfully exclaimed they felt like they were in the Amazon. Kurt's was confused at the twins' fascination with creepy jungles and when he shared it with Quinn, she laughed at him and silently agreed.<p>

When Coco insisted that she wanted to see the penguins in a while; Alfie expressed that he wanted to observe the white tigers instead. Kurt and Quinn decided that it was time to separate. Promising that they'll both call each other after to meet up, Kurt headed to the aviary with Coco. Quinn was left with Alfie who smartly lead the way to the Tiger Mountain. After taking a picture and watching the tigers interact with each other, Alfie finally sat down on the nearest bench with Quinn to rest his tired legs. Quinn observed him quietly as she rested her back against the wooden slats of the bench, smiling as the boy glanced back at her curiously.

"I heard you're a smart kid." Quinn smiled, waiting for the kid to say something.

Alfie glanced at her and forced a smile. "I see that you're a great observer."

"I've seen a lot of things, Alfie. And I can see that your father is doing his best to make things right between the two of you. If only you would let him."

"I already did what you told me earlier." Alfie spat, turning his eyes back to the tigers, secretly hoping that Quinn would just leave the conversation as it was.

"It looks like you're still holding some bitterness against him." Quinn insisted quietly, offering a small smile. "He is trying his best."

Alfie interjected as he crossed his arms as if trying to protect himself from her watchful eyes. "Then he should try harder. Leaving us to a stranger almost every day sucks."

"Your father is just working hard to make a living so you guys can have a good future." Quinn explained to the boy but was given the cold shoulder in exchange.

"Make a living, huh? Or make a name for himself?"

Quinn shook her head, feeling her cheeks redden from his harsh words, "I know this is difficult for you but Kurt loves you and he would do anything for you guys."

"Sometimes love isn't enough." Alfie argued quietly, his voice barely above a whisper as he turned his head to Quinn to give her a stern look.

Quinn watched the boy quietly, knowing that his harsh look was to challenge her on her ideals about love. She opened her mouth to say something but hesitated. Taking a deep breath, she bit her lower lip before continuing.

"Let me tell you a story about love."

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><p>"There was a couple who were very much in love with each other. They were high school sweethearts and they both decided to follow their dreams to the big city. They were really happy until one day, something bad happened that broke the heart of the other and ever since then the other never recovered. And to this day, he still feels betrayed and angry. Even though he said he's moved on; he's never really forgiven the other. He just thought that maybe time would heal his pain…"<p>

_Kurt woke up from the noise of his alarm clock. He had slept late because he had been reviewing the history of Russian Theater Arts coming up on his final exam. He rose from his bed and noticed a blank CD lying on his desk. He didn't know who left it there but rather than wasting his time guessing and lurking, he decided to run to the bathroom in order to avoid being late. This was their last day before their winter break and Kurt couldn't hide his excitement. He had arranged for his boyfriend to spend Christmas with him and he couldn't wait to go shopping for presents for his family and friends. Sending a quick good morning text to Blaine, Kurt rushed to the Drama Building at NYU hoping that his professor was somewhere stuck in traffic. When he arrived at the AVR, Kurt noticed his classmates were assembled at the corner of the room watching something that they seemed to find funny or controversial, considering most of them were laughing and gasping._

"_What's that?" Kurt asked as he approached them. He tried to get inside the group to see what they were up to._

_Rachel, who had also been watching, silently gasped the moment she saw Kurt and tried to pull him out. Kurt frowned at her and pushed her lightly, confusion obvious on his face. He tried shoving some of them so he could get a good view of the laptop that seemed to be playing some kind of a hidden camera show. Kurt felt Rachel's hands again on his arm, as she tried to pull him out more aggressively. It's unusual for Rachel to push his buttons but more importantly, he doesn't understand why she's determined not to let him see this little show that the whole class has been enjoying. He was about to confront her when he heard a familiar voice coming from the built in stereo of the laptop._

"_Harder. Please."_

_Kurt's body froze, his eyes widen as he tried to catch his breath. He turned his head towards his classmates who were busy watching and cursing at the same time. He walked right up to them and forcefully pushed them out of his way. When he reached the laptop, he felt as if his heart would hammer out of his ribs and his breath came tearing out of him in great heaving, frightened sobs. He stared at the laptop as he pictured his future, his life, his everything crumbling in front of him. He felt all of his classmates' eyes on him and he just wanted to disappear. He shrugged them off by concentrating on the video. 'This must be a prank.' He thought, trying to swallow a huge lump that had formed in his throat. Kurt clasped his hands to his face as reality began to hit him._

_Blaine was there lying on the bed with three men that Kurt recognized as his boyfriend's frat mates having hard, dirty, unprotected, but seemingly consensual sex. Kurt felt like his heart was ripped slowly from his chest as he fought the tears wavering in his eyes. Suddenly, he felt his stomach churn. Blaine glanced at the camera with a lewd look on his face._

_He knew he was on camera._


	7. Beautiful and Broken

**This was long over-due. Like crazily long over-due. And I apologize for the almost-a-year-delay. It's unforgivable. You can hurt me if you want. The only reason I have is that my work was very demanding that I had to stop writing this down in order to focus. I'm still currently working in a very demanding industry but I will try my very best to update at least once in two weeks. I apologize for this. I would not abandon this fic.**

**Thank you for reading and for following the story. I know all of you are emotionally sensitive after the break-up episode. This fic can't cheer you up though, since it's angsty. Hopefully, it can distract you.**

**Thank you to my lovely beta-reader, Ms. LindsaylovesPacey.**

**Btw, the song that I used here is "I Don't Know You Anymore" by Savage Garden. Feel free to listen. xx**

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><p>"Quinn?"<p>

Quinn closed her eyes and sighed heavily. All the bad memories from before came running back to her mind. She felt a familiar twinge in her chest as she remembered why Kurt and Blaine broke up in the first place. She thought she understood what happened but as time passed, she became more confused. The kid was right. Sometimes love can't solve all the problems in the world but for Quinn, it can help make things easier. There were many couples she knew who loved each other but had separated, she believed love would always be there because love wasn't something one forget. She wanted to hold on to that thought. "You're still young but believe me when I say love is enough. It really is."

"You see, this couple even though they are now separated and have different lives, I know for sure that they still do love each other. I cannot define love as you want to hear it because it can't really be described with words. You see, love is different for each person. For me, it's like waiting for winter to come. The cold breeze makes you shiver and the fallen leaves make you remember that the trees were once green and lovely. The snow makes you feel magical and light-headed. Winter is usually defined by many poets as lonely, heartbreaking and sad but for me it's the most beautiful season. I love winter and will always. And whenever I see those snowflakes falling from the sky, it makes me feel that there is so much in this world that I should appreciate and be grateful for. I always look forward to it every day." Quinn explains quietly, as she looks at Alfie.

"I know you're young and that you are longing for your father's affection and time. But you see, no matter how long the couple I mentioned was separated or how I wait for winter, I know that one day, the couple will come to treasure those beautiful moments they had, and so will I. As I treasure all my memories with my favorite season. Love is enough for one to keep going and staying alive. Love is enough for me to endure the long wait for winter. Love is enough for the couple to live their lives even though they choose not to see each other again. Love is enough for your father to try and make things right with you and your sister. Love is always enough for you to try and understand that your father's heart breaks every time you voice your disappointment in him. And lastly, love is enough for him to always forgive you for breaking his heart."

Alfie stood up, saying nothing. Quinn could see the boy trying to control his tears. She gave him a comforting pat on the back before looking up, noticing Kurt and Coco walking toward them. She nudged the boy to get his attention. With a small smile, the two walked together to approach her old friend and his daughter.

Later that night after dinner, Kurt excused himself to do his daily moisturizing routine leaving Quinn and the kids to watch some music video on the TV.

Kurt enjoyed these simple yet enjoyable moments with his family and he couldn't help missing his husband in times like these. It's only been two days, but sleeping in an empty room makes him feel weak. Orlando has been his strength and encouragement for so long and Kurt has learned to live like that for ten years.

Coincidentally, while reminiscing the moments of how great his husband is, his phone rings. His lips widen into a sweet smile as he sees that the call is from his husband.

"Hey how's my lovely husband?" Orlando crooned.

"Fabulous. How about you?" Kurt answered. It's only been two days since his husband left but he already misses him. He feels like a teenager getting a call from his crush.

"I miss my family." Orlando sighed. Kurt can hear his sadness in his voice. His husband isn't really great at traveling, especially when he's alone. The last time he travelled for business was in Qatar and that was for a month. When he came back, Kurt had to cook him his favorite food for a week just to cure his homesickness. He also had to deal with his husband's clinginess which became a bit inappropriate when they were in public. "The client agreed to sponsor the new show."

"That's great! Congratulations." Kurt exclaimed. "By the way, I took the kids to the zoo."

"I should've been there." Orlando sighed, remorse clear in his voice.

"I know baby, but we're going to Disney Land when you come back." Kurt offered.

"Wow. You're good at this."

"Oh you know, I believed it when Gaga said I was born this way, baby." Kurt said before bursting into giggles.

"Okay, I got to go. I'll call you tomorrow. I love you." His husband replies with a sweet tone. Kurt has to bite his tongue so Orlando couldn't hear his disappointment.

"I love you too."

"Hey Kurt, do you have any spare boxes I can put these records in?" Quinn asks as she peaks her head in the door.

"I think so." Kurt replied with a smile. "You can check our storage room. It's the room to the far left upstairs."

"Thanks. You're a life saver. By the way, the kids are watching some One Direction music video on the TV. You might want to cuddle with them since I know you love boy bands." Quinn teases.

"Oh please, Fabray." Kurt said while rolling his eyes.

Quinn gave a small laugh before leaving him. Kurt is actually pleased to see Quinn with his family. Somehow, with her presence, he's able to be like he normally is with his kids. He feels like the young Kurt who dreams of having a family in New York City. He walks out of his room only to hear loud music coming from the living room. Concerned for his children's ears, he immediately goes and checks up on them.

"Coco, can you lower the volume of your TV. Coco?" Kurt complaines as he climbs downstairs. "It's past eight already and you guys should be in bed right now."

"No can do. My future husband is on the TV." Coco answered, her eyes focused on the TV.

"You're too young to-" Kurt was startled when he saw what his kids were watching. It was an interview on MTV with the volume loud enough to wake everyone in the apartment. But that didn't really bothered Kurt, because what really bothered him was the handsome man that was being interviewed. He paused for a moment, watching his ex-boyfriend smile and answer questions from James Montgomery.

"I'm a big fan of your music. Your first album released in the UK was extraordinary and I can't help wondering why your second album, the U.S. debut album, is about break up? I mean a lot of songs on this album talks about hardship and losing someone? Is this album based on your experience?" James asks Blaine who gives him a warm smile.

"If I said I wrote this for no reason, I'd be lying. The truth is I wrote these songs ten years ago for my first love. It was when I was recovering from that bad break-up. I was really depressed and I've done silly things in my life. The album talks about struggles and regrets. I know that a lot of people can relate to the songs especially if they're going through hardship. I was pretty scared at first releasing this album because it was like sharing your diary with the world but I know that by sharing it I can let things go. I mean, it's about time I finally move on and so are the listeners." Blaine answers before taking a deep breath.

"Why did you decide to release just now?" James asks, this time full of interest.

Blaine paused, considering his answer, as if trying to recall something from his past. He gives James a sad smile before continuing.

"Because, in life, we need to let things go in order to find happiness. My manager convinced me that many people can relate because my songs are not just about heartache but also about the process of getting over someone. In a way that forces you to realize sometimes, it is what it is. And you have to learn to respect their happiness and move on. Even though I've always considered these songs as love letters, I've decided that I would share this with the people who are struggling right now and wanting to move on. That moving forward is like healing. Music healed me, and I hope it heals them too."

James can't help but notice the sadness in Blaine's voice. Hoping to lighten the mood, he leans forward to ask, "You wrote this to your first love? How is the lucky person?"

"Married. Happily married."

James offers a comforting pat on Blaine's shoulder as he tries to make things easy for the singer. "Oh I see. By releasing this album, do you think she might be able to hear your songs?

"I don't know. It's been many years since I last talked to him." Blaine simply replied. "I didn't want to mess up anything by releasing these songs. Plus, he's very happy. I don't want to ruin that."

"He?" James is now all wild eyed, but smiles nonetheless to reassure Blaine that he understands.

"Yes. My first love is a He."

"Okay now, so can you tell us about the song that you're going to perform for us tonight?" James asks kindly, even thru his shock from the revelation he's still hoping to cheer Blaine up. There were few murmurs from the audience but some didn't really react as if they already knew the singer's sexuality.

"This song is about a fantasy meeting with an old lover, where I've imagined myself seeing my first love again and everything has changed and it scares me. I'd be asking how's he been, if things are different or if things are still the same but in truth you're just afraid to see what they've become without you." Blaine said with a sad smile before walking towards the grand piano.

"Thank you very much for that. Ladies and gentlemen, performing his hit song "I Don't Know You Anymore" from his U.S. debut album, Mr. Blaine Anderson."

Kurt couldn't speak. His eyes were glued to the screen as the clip continued, the shadows of his youth suddenly seeping back into his mind. Blaine wrote songs for him and he's now sharing it with the world. That bastard wrote songs about hardship and regrets when he's the one who broke his heart. Whatever he has to say or rather, sing, he doesn't want to hear it.

"Change the channel, Coco."

"Papa, I've been waiting for him." Alfie answers for his sister who walks toward the TV as if protecting it from Kurt. "He's releasing his newest single and we want to hear it."

"I said, change the channel!" Kurt was flustered with annoyance. He didn't mean to shout at his kids but he's frustrated to see them idolizing his ex-boyfriend. The last thing he wants for his children is them idolizing the man who almost ruined his life. But when the music started, Kurt was too stunned to say anything. He felt his knees weakened as he sat down beside his son while his daughter danced to the music.

He's still beautiful, almost the same as the last time Kurt saw him. Though he's a bit older and looks tired. His smile and piercing eyes still take his breath away. Kurt, after a few minutes of observation, then realized that he's seeing Blaine's famous facade. The forced smile, the constant shrug from his shoulder, the kind look – Kurt finally sees the mask his ex-boyfriend is wearing.

Blaine was a bit pale, wore faded blue jeans and a black sleeveless under shirt. His black hair stuck out from his black beanie on his head. He sat there in the center of the stage, one knee crossed over the other, smiling like he usually did back at Dalton.

_I would like to visit you for a while. Get away and out of this city. Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break._

Blaine's eyes were closed as he sang. He wasn't as passionate a singer as Kurt remembered him to be but he was playing the piano softly, as if he was scared that he might break it if he pushed the keys too hard.

_We can go sit on your back porch, relax, talk about anything. It don't matter. I'll be courageous if you can pretend that you've forgiven me._

Blaine was completely absorbed in his playing as his left hand moved along the piano's keys, his fingers knowing the notes of the song. Kurt remembered a time when those fingers instinctively knew everything about his body and he fought the urge to shiver.

_Because I don't know you anymore. I don't recognize this place. The picture frames have changed and so has your name. We don't talk much anymore. We keep running from the pain. But what I wouldn't give to see your face again._

Kurt wanted to leave but his body wouldn't let him. Blaine had written him a song and it was breaking his heart to see the man he used to love. Hating that he is on television he's pretending to be okay, though he's crumbling with pain deep inside.

_Spring time in the city. Always such relief from the winter freeze. The snow was more lonely than cold, if you know what I mean. Everyone's got an agenda, don't stop. Keep that chin up, you'll be all right. Can you believe what a year it's been. Are you still the same? Has your opinion changed?  
><em>

Blaine continued playing the softly swaying melodies of the song. His eyes were still closed, and his head swayed as if he's letting the music control him.

_'Cause I don't know you anymore. I don't recognize this place. The picture frames have changed and so has your name. We don't talk much anymore. We keep running from these sentences. But what I wouldn't give to see your face again._

Kurt allowed the soft, sultry music to pull him in and fill his mind with memories. He remembered the night when he looked up to see a young Blaine with love and passion in his eyes. It had warmed him, made his heart shake and made his soul quiver when he realized that what he saw in Blaine's eyes was what he felt all these years of avoiding his past.

_I know I let you down. Again and again. I know I never really treated you right. I've paid the price. I'm still paying for it every day._

It's been so long since Kurt heard him sing, let alone, heard his voice. Blaine was apologizing to him through a song. Looking back, Kurt hadn't received any apology from Blaine. It wasn't because his ex didn't care about him after what happened but he was pretty sure he hadn't let him apologize. The truth was, after the incident, Kurt avoided Blaine like a plague. He refused to answer his calls and emails. He even ignored him when he saw Blaine walking towards him at the university.

_So maybe I shouldn't have called. Was it too soon to tell? Oh, what the hell. It doesn't really matter. How do you redefine something that never really had a name? Has your opinion changed? _

Blaine looks at the crowd for a moment before he shuts his eyes to sing again. Kurt saw the emotions playing across his ex-lover's face. He was in pain but he hid it with a smile worthy of melting women's hearts. Kurt fights an eternal battle on whether he should leave because he feels like he's seeing everything he had avoided for the past ten years.

_Because I don't know you anymore, I don't recognize this place. The picture frames have changed and so has your name. We don't talk much anymore. We keep running from the pain. But what I wouldn't give to see your face again. I see your face. I see your face._

Blaine's voice dissipated as he softly played the last notes of the song until it was silenced by the loud clapping of the small audience. James thanked the viewers before making his way to singer and congratulating him for reaching no. 1 on Billboard's music chart. The show ended with a small smile from Blaine followed by a huge applause.

Kurt didn't realize that he was crying until the end of the song. He didn't understand Blaine like he hadn't understood himself before. He sat there quietly, staring at the TV as a music video played on the screen. He saw Blaine smile and now he's sure of it. He heard it. The silent screams coming from his eyes. It strickens him and scares him.

The lyrics felt foreign to him, the words twisted his heart as he remembered back once more. He remembered the soft hum of these words over a bad phone connection. He remembered when he would hear these words – a soft plead, a gentle prayer – every night, and then every other night, and then once a week, and then once a month… and then never again.

Kurt just saw a man that was once full of love, now a picture of pain. And amongst the happy smiles from the audience, the host, and the rest of the world who was watching, the man who just played the song beautifully was silently screaming. And Kurt could see why Blaine had tried to kill himself. No, he was still trying. Blaine was torturing himself. Through all the fake smiles, and laughter, Kurt could see it. He could feel it. Blaine was lonely and he probably thinks forcing himself to release his pain, could result in happiness.

Maybe Blaine thinks he needs a listener, and yes, a lot of people listen to him. But are they really listening? Or maybe they can only hear a side of his story and not the whole of it. For some reason, Kurt felt that Blaine's show was one of the saddest performances he had seen. It hit him hard and even the greatest stages couldn't make him this emotional. He felt like he was enlightened after many years. For some reason, the man who sang on the small platform affected him more than all the other people in the world.

Discreetly wiping his tears, he heard his old friend calling him from upstairs.

"Oh, my god, Kurt. You have to come and see this."


	8. The Truth

**Thank you for reading. I appreciate that one review I got from the last chapter. I appreciate that you enjoy the story.:)**

**Thank you again to Lindsay for proofreading this chapter. You're a goddess. **

**WARNING: Anyway, I think I should warn you guys that this chapter has dark and mature contents. I won't say what but it's disturbing so if you don't read that stuff then please scroll down and skip that part. But I do recommend that you read it because it'll help you understand the situation.**

**Also, the song that I used in here is "World Spins Madly On" by the Weepies.**

**Enjoy and tell me what you think. :)**

Quinn carefully put down the rectangular boxes from the metal rack as she roamed around the room to look for empty ones. She didn't quite understand how Kurt and Orlando kept things covered in dust. There were probably sixty boxes of different shapes and sizes in the storage room. Some looked old and some looked like they had never been opened. She reckoned that these boxes must be gifts from their wedding or old clothes that were either worn out or too small for them. If she were to dig in deeper, she'd probably describe these boxes as pieces of memories, locked in a small room and hidden from the world to keep safe.

Quinn laughs to herself; sometimes she romanticizes things and turns the world into poetry. Remembering why she's in the storage room in the first place, she gently pushes each box to see if it's empty or not. When a blue box moved, her smile widens. As she reaches for it, a brown box falls, releasing all of its contents on the floor. Panicking, she hurriedly puts everything back but she suddenly stops when she realizes something familiar. As she examines the blazer she is holding, her heart leaps when she sees the Dalton's logo patch and Blaine Anderson's name under it.

Quinn sits down and curiously peeks at the contents of the box. There are sealed letters addressed to Kurt Hummel and all were stamped with red ink saying - Return back to Sender. Beside it were dried roses that were still beautifully intact that probably withered with time. There were also Polaroid photos of Kurt back in college. She couldn't help but notice Blaine's face in them had been scratched violently. On the side were mix tapes and concert tickets labeled to Kurt. Under it was a ring made from bubble gum wrapper that Quinn realizes was the same ring that Kurt was wearing at their last Christmas in McKinley.

Quinn realizes that these were Blaine's things that he meant for Kurt to have. She felt she was intruding her old friend's sensitive memories so she decided to start putting the things back together, but when she noticed a CD with "The Truth" written on it, her curiosity reached its peak.

The truth. This is something Quinn had longed for. Kurt and Blaine's break-up was one of the things she didn't expect to happen. There were unanswered questions, missing puzzle pieces and silent distress. For her, the misery behind their eyes was one of the mysteries she wanted to unravel. She wants to know Blaine's pain and Kurt's heartbreak. She wants to understand why Blaine didn't fight for Kurt on his wedding day or why Kurt had gazed at the balcony where Blaine was before he entered his car. She wants to know why Blaine is scared of her and why Kurt still hates Blaine after all these years. Yes, she was dying to know the truth. She wanted to understand everything.

She took the CD before fixing the box. Taking with her the empty blue box, she walks towards her room with a light urgency. She doesn't want Kurt to catch her snooping in his past and most importantly; she doesn't want him to feel betrayed. All these years, she'd sided with Kurt and had pushed Blaine away from their lives. He was her friend first and she wanted to show him that she could be loyal, but seeing the other boy again with sad and painful eyes, she was startled. She felt guilty for not being there for Blaine as a friend. She remembers her encounter with Blaine in LA after many years and how the young man turned out to be a stranger to her. He nervously smiled and acted friendly towards her but she could see the fear in his eyes. His vulnerability was visible and it was painful to watch. Blaine used to be one of her best friends. They used to joke around with each other and share personal things together. Seeing him again after the incident, even with all the fame and love from his fans, Blaine was still that boy who desperately pleaded with them to let him speak to Kurt. He was still the same boy who desperately tried to make everything right after what happened. He was still a picture of heartbreak.

It's now or never. Kurt may hate her for this but she was determined to know everything. Discreetly, she inserted the CD into her laptop and waited for it to load. It only took her seconds to realize what she was watching. Suddenly her eyes were in tears and a familiar pang grounded her heart. With a terrified look on her face, she yelled,

"Oh my god, Kurt. You have to come and see this."

* * *

><p><em>Woke up and wished that I was dead<em>

_With an aching in my head _

_I lay motionless in bed_

Blaine's other song was playing now on the TV and Kurt could feel tears streaming down his face. He could hear it from his bedroom and he didn't care anymore. After watching Blaine perform one of the most tear-jerking songs he had ever heard, Quinn showed him something that made him want to curl up and die. It was past midnight already and his kids were still up watching music videos in the living room. Kurt was too tired to ask them to go to bed. His legs were weak and his heart was pounding in pain. He was exhausted and all he could think was how could Blaine's music feel so painful, yet warm as if it was being harshly whispered in his ear. It's haunting him. It's making him frail and brittle. He doesn't know if he should hate how his ex-boyfriend can still do this to him after all these years. Listening quietly, he can feel Blaine's pain and learning the truth only makes it unbearable. Yes, he knows the truth. Everything was clear now. He finally understands why Blaine looks sad yet happy for him on his wedding day. He finally knows why Blaine respected his wishes to stay away and why he gave up after months of trying to make amends. After all the hardship that Blaine was put through, Kurt couldn't imagine how he even lasted months with trying. If he was in that situation, it would only take him seconds to run away and hide. Yet Blaine tried his best to reach out to him even though he knew that it would be a painful process. Most importantly, Kurt understands how Blaine could have hated himself to the point where he would try to end his precious life.

The melody plays, and Kurt tries to listen completely amidst the giggles of his children downstairs. Blaine's songs were his love letters to Kurt. They were the letters that were never opened because he refused to know or care but are now being shared with the world. Kurt feels naked as he embraces himself. He looks down at the sealed letters scattered all across his bed. Along with the CD, Quinn also found letters and other memorabilia in the box that Freddy, the Anderson's old butler, gave to him. The letters were returned back to Blaine, sealed, because he had rejected them. He wanted to open each letter but he was too scared to do so.

He's scared that his heart may not be able to handle reading Blaine's side of the story – a story that bears the truth and he has ignored it for years.

_I thought of you and where you'd gone_

_and let the world spin madly on_

Kurt can hear it even if it's miles away. He can hear it clearly now. Blaine was screaming. He had been screaming for ten years and all Kurt could hear was his own pain. His songs were beautiful but beneath the melody and the sweet voice was a violent scream for help. But what was really deafening to Kurt was not Blaine's screams but his silence. It was suffocating and heavy as if it's trying to take away all his senses one by one. He wonders how Blaine could have lived his life with this curse for a decade. He wonders how much pain his ex-boyfriend has gone through in order to carry on.

Kurt never felt the need to be silent. He was very outspoken about what happened. He had screamed his anger and frustration to everyone. His friends knew how messed up he was after what happened. Yet, Blaine held it in and stayed quiet. He kept his truth to himself. How could Blaine lose himself to Kurt like that? How could someone so young, perfect and loving lose themselves completely in a relationship that when the end came, it had been unbearable for one to stand alone?

_Everything that I said I'd do _

_Like make the world brand new_

_And take the time for you_

Kurt stared at the ceiling, as tears fell from his eyes. He was so confused. He has a family now and they mean the world to him. It just breaks his heart that he's living the dream that he had once planned with Blaine. He couldn't help but to wonder how he could live a happy life knowing he refused to help his first love from being broken. He destroyed him and left him broken. Now, he can hear his beautiful and tender voice uttering words that cut him deeply right to his heart.

_I just got lost and slept right through the dawn _

_And the world spins madly on_

Kurt felt like he was smothering from all the heavy emotions stirring within him. He had been living a lie for the past ten years. He betrayed the man he had loved and left him carrying all the blame. Kurt tightens his arms around himself. He feels like he's going to pass out any minute. Every breath he takes is like medication to numb his heavy heart. He feels guilty bearing so much hate for a person who had given him so much love and courage. Blaine was the first boy that made him feel beautiful and loved and Kurt hated the fact that in exchange, he had given the boy pain that he wore like a scarlet letter.

_I let the day go by _

_I always say goodbye_

_I watch the stars from my window sill _

_The whole world is moving and I'm standing still_

Kurt was punching the mattress now, burying his face in his pillow in an attempt to stifle the screams that wanted to rip through his body. He winced as he tried to remember his times with Blaine, yet he could only recall the times where Blaine had tried to reach out to him. He remembered the times when Blaine tried to approach him. He remembered the desperation and sorrow on his ex-boyfriend's face. He remembered the times when he asked his friends to protect him from Blaine because the boy was scaring him. When, in reality, Kurt just hated him. He remembered those moments where he completely ignored Blaine's existence and yet, he just stood there with tears in his eyes and sadly smiled before finally disappearing from his life. The last time he saw Blaine was on his wedding day and he can't help but be furious at him for even showing up. And like always, Blaine respected his space and watched him get married from the wayside before finally leaving him for good.

_Woke up and wished that I was dead _

_With an aching in my head _

_I lay motionless in bed_

Kurt carefully took one of the letters and gently ripped the side. He took out the white paper inside that looked old and a bit crumpled. He immediately noticed Blaine's neat writing. He let his hands trace every word that were written and felt all the anguish the author had while writing it. He hadn't bothered reading these letters before, he was in pain and he just wanted it to quickly fade away. These letters were never opened, had never been read, and had kept in a world full of judgment and hate; now, Kurt was reading them for the first time in ten years.

"I'm sorry Kurt. This will be my last letter. I hope you accept this. If not, it's okay. I know that no amount of explanation will ever be enough to justify what happened. I betrayed you. It's my fault. I just want you to know that I won't be bothering you anymore. I'm sorry for everything. I really am. Be happy, Kurt. I love you."

_The night is here and the day is gone_

_And the world spins madly on_

Kurt breaks down into tears once again. How could he let this happen? How could he let time pass by and forget every memory he had with his first love? He ignored the man he loved when he was at his lowest point of life. He blamed him for breaking his heart when he hadn't meant to. Kurt had hated him for years when the truth was, there was no reason for hating him. He had bullied a broken man and destroyed all his joy and passion in life.

_I thought of you and where you'd gone _

_And the world spins madly on. _

Kurt hadn't realized Quinn had entered the room until she sat beside him with a box of tissue. She was still crying. She wrapped her skinny arms around him as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"What do you want to do?"

Kurt looked at his friend as he gently pulled away from the hug to wipe away his tears. "I don't know anymore, Quinn. A part of me just wants to die."

Quinn silently watches him, tears still running down her face. "I know. Me too."

Kurt cries as he turns his head back to the letters. He was trying his best not to make a heart-wrenching sound but he couldn't help it. "I keep seeing his face at my wedding. I saw it Quinn, I saw everything. I saw his misery and I ignored it. I thought that he was there to ruin my day but he didn't do anything. All these years he just let me be… he let me be…"

"Happy," Quinn finished with a small sob.

"Yeah," Kurt sobbed, burying his head in his friend's neck, "And I was happy. I was really happy all these years. But how can I be happy now knowing what really happened? I just I-I didn't let him explain, Quinn. I didn't listen to him."

Quinn stares in Kurt's eyes. It pains her to see him hurting and loathing himself over what happened to Blaine, "You were hurt. It's understandable."

"He was also hurt, Quinn. A lot more hurt than I was and he's been carrying this ever since," Kurt said before breaking into an uncontrollable sob.

(VIDEO)

_Blaine fumbles as three men laugh at him. He is weak and drowsy. He fuzzily gets up as he tries his best to walk out of the room. _

"_Anderson decided to quit our frat. What a shame really since he was a legacy." A handsome blonde said as he licked his lower lip. "He didn't like our views and values."_

"_The stubborn boy didn't care about his status. We could have used his assets to bring out donations to our projects." A brunette boy replies in anger. _

_The other boy with them, who possesses distinctive green eyes and dark red hair, smirks. His eyes focus on the younger boy who's having a hard time walking._

_They silently watch Blaine stumble down before laughing out loud. It was pure entertainment to them, and the young boy was pleasing their eyes._

"_What did you put in his drink? The boy looks like he's going to pass out." asked the brunette as he nudges the red head who is focused on watching Blaine crawl to the door._

_"__Rufees, I was thinking of giving this beautiful fag a party that he wouldn't forget."_

"_Brilliant idea! I've always wanted to experiment. Bring out the camera, I want him to always remember this." The blonde excitedly said, a wicked smirk playing on his lips. _

_The other two laugh as they approach Blaine while the red head watches them. The blonde boy pins him down, and the brunette starts to undress him. Blaine was too weak to fight, so he let the boys carry him to the bed. He winced when both of his hands were grasped violently above him. He let out a shriek when the blonde boy brutally shoved himself inside of him without any warning._

"_Please… stop." Blaine pleaded tiredly but he couldn't seem to suppress a pleasurable moan. _

"_Harder," The brunette said to the blonde, "Push it harder. He's fucking turning me on."_

"_Well, I want him to say it," The blonde boy answered as he speed up his thrusting inside Blaine's ass. "Say harder…"_

"_No… don't… push it…. harder…. It hurts!" Blaine pleaded weakly. His eyes were bloodshot red and he looks like he's going to collapse soon. But his vulnerable look only made the boys more excited._

"_Feels good, man," the blonde boy can barely reply as he was erotically grinds his penis inside of the tight hole of the younger boy. _

_The brunette was getting hard and decided to participate. Over and over; the brunette boy bit Blaine's nipples until he screamed. After the blonde released his grip on the younger boy's hands, the brunette slid his body in between and thrusts his dick into Blaine's mouth, ignoring the gagging sound the boy was making. He let out a pleasurable sound as he fucked Blaine's mouth repeatedly. _

_The blonde groaned and gasped at the pleasurable feeling and it wasn't long before he released his warm manly liquid inside Blaine– and all over his legs. The brunette followed as he shot his cum inside the boy's mouth. Blaine lay there, gazing in darkness as he gasped for air, his mouth and face covered in cum. The blonde pulled off and signaled the brunette to exchange places with him. _

_The red head watched Blaine pant. He liked what he was seeing. Licking his lower lip, he approached them and slowly leaned down to the younger boy. "Open his mouth. I want to lick his touch and sip his saliva."_

_The blonde sniggers before following. He forcefully opens Blaine's mouth. The younger boy whimpers but the grip on his jaw is too strong and before he can even fight, his mouth is already on the blonde's mouth, being explored cruelly by the latter's tongue. Blaine made a moaning sound and the boys took it as a sound of pleasure. It was a passionate kiss, but cruel, very cruel._

_The red head boy starts tearing of his clothes as he smiles at his two companions. They nod at him as they started violating Blaine's body with their tongues. The red head gave Blaine an erotic look before licking the boy's wet hole and then pushing his cock inside of him. Blaine screamed in pain and pleasure but his body was weirdly tired and turned on. His eyes wandered around the room while the red head fucked him violently and forcefully pulling his legs apart. As he moans and gasps in pain, he notices a strange looking thing on the table with a flickering red light on it._

(END)

Kurt's stomach turned. He immediately ran to the bathroom to throw up. His whole body trembles as he releases everything he ate. Quinn followed him, gently patting his back as her friend vomited with pain and disgust. Kurt was a mess. Quinn felt guilty for showing him the video. It was a mistake. Why does she have to poke her nose in someone else's business? Why does she have to meddle with some old conflict that was already forgotten by the people concerned?

Kurt washes his mouth before crying again. Every fiber of hate he once had for Blaine disappears and the feelings of remorse and guilt just surround him. He feels disgusted with himself. He had always thought Blaine cheated on him. He had hated Blaine and had forced everybody that he loved to ignore the boy who publically humiliated him.

"Do you want to meet him? You know, make things right?" Quinn finally asked. Her tears were all dried up but her face was still full of despair. She wasn't just asking Kurt. She was also asking herself to fix things with the boy she used to love and respect.

Kurt just shrugged. He's really lost right now. All he wants to do is cry. He doesn't know if he can face Blaine after everything. He trembles and starts vomiting again.

"It's hard, I know Kurt, it really is but what do you want to do? We can't turn our backs now. We already know what really happened!" Quinn cries as she watches her friend throw up. "You still have the chance to fix everything."

Kurt turned to look at his friend; his face full of anger. "What is there to fix, Quinn?! I destroyed the man I loved! You've seen him right? He's broken. I did that to him!"

"You didn't Kurt. Stop blaming yourself, please." Quinn pleaded, as she hugs Kurt tightly as if protecting him from all the pain. "A broken mirror can't be fixed by gluing the pieces together. No matter what you do, it's still broken. But you can recut it, to salvage what you can if you want to save as much of it as possible. He's not entirely broken, Kurt, you can still save him."

"H-how can I? I mean, I don't know where he is or how to contact him," Kurt replied, his voice hoarse and weak.

"I can contact the producer that had invited Blaine to L.A. before. If that doesn't work out, I can make a few phone calls." Quinn said with confidence as she takes out her phone.

Kurt bit his lip before sighing. "No Quinn, I don't want him to know that we are looking for him. The last thing I want to do is scare him."

"Santana." Quinn suddenly said, her eyes widening from realization. "She's very close to Blaine especially after everything that has happened. I saw her hugging Blaine at your wedding reception. I'm pretty sure she can help us out."

"You sure?" Kurt asks as he wipes his face with a dried towel. "I don't know what to say. I'm scared."

"It'll be alright."

* * *

><p>"Hello. Who is this?"<p>

Quinn hadn't talked to Santana in years. She started avoiding everybody after what happened with Blaine. She became his confidant and his friend. She protected the boy from them and had constantly voiced out her opinions regarding Blaine. Because of this, she stopped hanging out with everybody. Everybody thought that she hated Kurt because she sided with Blaine. Quinn was also convinced that she was just looking for attention. The last time she saw Santana was also at Kurt's wedding. She greeted everyone with a smile but she stayed with Blaine the whole time, keeping him company and protecting him from all the judging eyes. She didn't stay long because she left with the boy the moment the newlyweds left the party. Quinn took a deep breath before fretfully answering.

"Hey, Santana, it's Quinn. How are you?"

"Fabray? I miss you! I'm very good. How about you?

"I-I'm fine," Quinn replied nervously. She glanced at Kurt who's anxiously waiting for his turn. "A friend of ours wants to talk to you, San."

"Hey, Santana. This is Kurt."

There was a long pause on the other line. Kurt was afraid that she might end the call. When he heard a small sigh, he was relieved.

"Hey, Kurt."

Kurt took a deep breath before continuing, "I want to ask for a favor. I know it's been so long since we last saw each other and I know this is all of a sudden, and I just want to make things right.. I really, really want to –"

"If it's about Blaine, I'd say great. It's good to know that you already know the truth but it's too late." Santana replied on the other end. Her voice was solid and with warning. "Give it up, Hummel. You had your chance. Let him go."

"Santana, I didn't know! You have to understand. Please, please I want to talk to him!" Kurt pleaded as he grasped his phone a bit tightly as if he was holding his every hope and love, afraid that it'll disappear.

"Then you should have done that ten years ago, Kurt. Maybe all of you should have." Santana simply replied, and Kurt could feel her anger in every word. "Funny how things change, Hummel. Blaine used to plead with everybody so he could just talk to you and explain himself. Now here you are pleading... Ironic isn't it?"

"Please, Santana." Kurt asked desperately. Santana was harsh and rude but he completely understands why she's been acting like this. She was just protecting Blaine and after all these years, she's still defending the boy.

"No Kurt. He's fine now. He finally moved on. Let him be."

"Fine?" Kurt said in exasperation. "Have you seen him? He's a disaster!"

Kurt hears Santana sigh once more as if she agrees to what he has said. "I know. But he will be fine soon enough. I know he suffered for years but he's getting better. It takes time, but most importantly, time without you. Understood, lady face?"

"Don't do this to me, Santana!" Kurt pleaded. Quinn watches Kurt tremble in despair. It broke her heart to watch her friend beg like this.

"Don't make me laugh, Hummel. I am not doing this for you. My God! After all these years, how can you still think that everything is about you?! I am doing this for Blaine."

Santana's voice was firm and final and Kurt couldn't help but to cry. He wanted to retaliate but his ears were met with the harsh sound of the dial tone. Quinn wrapped her arms around Kurt's waist, comforting him in every possible way she could. She gently stroked his back with her hands, making him feel comforted and secure.

And just like what Santana said to Blaine on Kurt's wedding day, Quinn whispered, "Hang in there. You did well."

* * *

><p>Kurt fixed the scattered letters before putting them neatly in his desk. Quinn volunteered to put the kids to bed as he was too exhausted and embarrassed to face his kids. He looked terrible yet he couldn't care less. He really wanted to see Blaine again and listen to what he had to say. He knew it had been many years but he was still hoping that he wasn't too late to save his first love. He just wanted these suffocating feelings to go away.<p>

Kurt opens his desk drawer to hide the other letters. While carefully hiding the letters inside, he notices a calling card lying on top of his journal. He remembers a certain Warbler giving this to him and asking him to keep in touch. Wesley Montgomery understands his pain or rather he hopes that the older boy understands him. He once did and Kurt's optimistic that he would listen to what he has to say. Maybe he can help him make things right. Maybe he can help him reach out to his first love.

Holding his breath, he dials the number on his cell phone.


End file.
